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Being the last to know in family

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  • Being the last to know in family

    Its not just me its our household in general. Myself, hubs and father in law. If we are to know anything its at the last moment or AFTER the fact its happened.

    Like when a distant aunt in the family that hubs is close to is in town and leaving in two days. I knew she was leaving to come visit but did not have a definite answer as to when.

    I was talking with trusted sis in law and she mentioned it off hand and I became furious. She apologized and I said why I'm not mad at you, I'm mad because no one told us. I did say our plans were canceled so we would be home so family could visit if they wanted, no I'm mad because hubs mother is usually the one to tell us or other sis in law.
    Yet for months nothing. I understand communication is a two way street but WHY, why cut hubs out of the loop? I would be hurt if the family didn't care for me but would eventually understand. However its not far to hurt my husband to get to me when he did nothing wrong.
    Yes I am taking it personally because this isn't the first time. Ever since daughter was born they've been doing this.

    If anything this makes me trust people even less and not want to deal with any family but my own if at all. And question in what have I done to cause husbands family to see me as a threat or hurt their feelings? What horrible-ness did I do? Whatever it is if they are angry or hurt with me its just hurting them if they don't tell me. Otherwise...for now I am just going to be hurt and angry and keep to myself as knowing me if I say a word I'm automatically wrong.
    Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
    Yeah we're so over, over
    Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

  • #2
    Some people's families are really dysfunctional, some even have some mental illness thrown in there, and that leads to all kinds of mind games. Then again, others are just plain snausages and could care less how people feel, and know the leverage of punishing a loved one for dislike of who they are with.

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    • #3
      His family is dysfunctional, however his mother is more subservient to the stepfather lately so its whatever that man wants. Which means if he doesn't want to talk to us we won't hear from them for weeks or months.
      I like his family as most of them are nice even with their issues. But now...Makes me feel like I cannot trust anyone beyond the house.

      Its like dealing with my father and his siblings all over again and that crap was years of trauma...i don't want to do it again.
      Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
      Yeah we're so over, over
      Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

      Comment

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