Vacations

[DrFaroohk]

I hate vacations. I always have a shitty time on them. It's why I'm such a hermit - basically leaving my house means shitty time for me.

First of all, they're expensive. We're not rich, and even a vacation that looks like 300 dollars on paper quickly turns into 1000 dollars. I'd rather have that thousand dollars for a more long lasting thing, like fixing the car, or buying a new computer or something.

Second, and mostly - To me the term vacation really means "Let's compile a list of all the things DrFaroohk doesn't like to do, and spend every minute doing that." Why do I need to be a part of this? I'm always bored, or aggravated, or feeling awkward because we're somewhere doing something I don't like. I hate being bored! Sometimes I speak up - "Hey, this is boring." I'll even suggest other things to do. "Yeah, well maybe we'll get to that." And then...never. It's like I'm the 5 year old kid the parents drag along to the mall and never gets to do anything but follow the parents around.

And now that tax season is here, we're already working on another family vacation. I don't know that speaking up about anything is going to help, and part of me just wants to offer to sit this one out, because who wants to drag along the unwilling, miserable party with them? But I feel like that'd be terribly wrong of me, like as a family man I'm supposed to want to be miserable.

[Andara Bledin]

I don't know that speaking up about anything is going to help, and part of me just wants to offer to sit this one out, because who wants to drag along the unwilling, miserable party with them? But I feel like that'd be terribly wrong of me, like as a family man I'm supposed to want to be miserable.

If you don't want to go, then speak up. If you're miserable, say something. If you just put up with it and suffer in silence or just offer weak protests, then the only person you have to blame for your situation is yourself.

You say, "we're already working on another family vacation," but as far as I can tell based on what you've written, you're not really contributing anything.

^-.-^

[Amanita]

Yikes! What you said is why I'm glad to be a solo traveller. You see, I like hanging out with some of my friends, but spending an entire week glued to them would drive me nuts. One of my friends has the unpleasant habit of taking his time with things that interest him, but rushing me when we're doing something that I want to do. Another has a habit of veering off away from the group unannounced. Another gets crabby if we spend too much time "looking in stores" and is has extremely bland, picky tastes in food, severely limiting the places we can eat.

I can relate to your rant about family vacations- being drug to places that don't interest me, any ideas I have being shot down, and me being growled at for not being happy all the time. My parents used to do that a lot when I was a kid, especially some of our day trips.

[Andara Bledin]

Vacations that aren't about doing something that everybody agrees they want to do are largely about compromising so that all party members will have something they want and nobody has to deal with anything too unpleasant.

Compromise doesn't mean roll over and let the other people plan everything.

^-.-^

[DrFaroohk]

I do speak up, but I'm not one to beg either. I don't think I should have to beg or repeat myself. If I'm asked what I want to do, I'll say "I'd like to go to a cool club" or "I'd like to go see a movie."

It's agreed, but then everyone finds reasons not to. I could insist, but obviously, if they wanted to go to a movie, we'd be at a movie, not watching a crappy band in a crappy bar. I don't want to drag three miserable people with me while I'm at a movie and they're all being like "awwww this sucks I wanna go elsewhere!" I made myself heard, they understood my feelings and opinions and chose to do something else. Not much more I can do about that except just not be involved.

I'm a "homemaker" by occupation, and not much for going out places. An awesome vacation for me would be to have everyone else...not here...for a while. Maybe they can go on vacation and I can stay here and have my vacation. But apparently that just makes me a terrible person.

[Andara Bledin]

I could insist, but obviously, if they wanted to go to a movie, we'd be at a movie, not watching a crappy band in a crappy bar.

In this particular situation I'd be at the movie and the rest of the group can have the crappy band and the crappy bar.

Not much more I can do about that except just not be involved.

Sometimes, that's all it takes. It's certainly a better option that going out and wasting your time and money to be miserable.

Maybe they can go on vacation and I can stay here and have my vacation. But apparently that just makes me a terrible person.

Anyone who would insist you go when there's a track record of you being miserable on such events is the terrible person in that equation.

Seems to me the most obvious vacation for a SAHP is to be somewhere away from the family.

^-.-^

[HYHYBT]

An awesome vacation for me would be to have everyone else...not here...for a while. Maybe they can go on vacation and I can stay here and have my vacation.

That's a pretty good idea, though, assuming they can manage without you You don't get to do anything you enjoy when you all go someplace on vacation, and if I remember rightly, you don't get to do what you enjoy when you're all at home either, at least not without getting a guilt trip out of it. Why not, then, have them go away doing whatever they like, and you stay home doing what you like, and everybody be happy?

[BlaqueKatt]

Maybe they can go on vacation and I can stay here and have my vacation.

Find a(smallish) project around the house that can ONLY be done when no one is around. Like say, painting the kid's room, or shampooing all the carpets. Then suggest that, since it really needs to be done, can't be put off any longer....you guys go, and I'll stay and shampoo the carpets/paint the kids room/organize the cobwebs by age and degree of filth trapped therein.....spend one day on the project, and have your at home "staycation".....the key is to lay it on thick how much you can't stand not having the project done, it needs to be done or the world will fall apart, you just couldn't enjoy yourself knowing it was waiting for you when you came back etc....

[Boozy]

Sure, but then you'd have to shampoo the carpets.

Although I suppose if it only took a day, and everyone was gone for a week, it would be worth it.

[blas87]

I hate poorly-planned vacations. The trip my bf's family and I (and his sister's fiance, we were the outsiders) took to the Dells two summers ago was a complete nightmare.

First of all, bf basically threatened me with my life and that they'd leave without me if I wasn't at their house by 9 am, which was when we'd leave. I got there by 9, and not even everyone was awake yet! I had to sit and wait while his family woke up, ate, shuffled around and tried to pack! We did not leave until well after 10!

His sister booked the hotel off of her phone, had no idea where the hotel was, their family figured that Wisconsin Dells isn't very big and it must be on the main drag and can't be that hard to find.

Bf's dad heard you can get discount Noah's Ark tickets at Kwik Trip gas stations. He never actually found out which ones. We ended up being behind on travel time because we ended up going to all different Kwik Trips on the way to the Dells until we finally found one that sold the tickets. And since bf's dad refuses to listen to the GPS, we got lost finding the damn gas stations.

We drove from the beginning of the "strip" of the Dells to Lake Delton and back and back and back until we FINALLY found the hotel, and we couldn't even check in for a few more hours anyway!

That was just part of it. Oh my Lord, that family drives me crazy.

And then bf wondered why I didn't want to go to his sister's wedding. Cost was the biggest issue, but confusion and the ADD in their family was another big reason.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I've been kicking around the idea of organizing a Wisconsin Dells meet up. Rest assured it wouldn't involve me descending on random gas stations in search of cut-rate tickets to Noah's Ark.

[blas87]

Irv, that would be so awesome. I would love it if all of us in the area could make it.

Oh, just for a little treat......starting the year after that vacation, my work started offering us discount passes for Noah's Ark and Mt Olympus, but it's only a few dollars off. Nothing really worth wasting time over. We get discount tickets for movies as well, but it's not even worth it, because most movies I want to see are the big anticipated ones, and there is always a notice by that movie online: NO discount passes, sorry! Fuck it.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Great!

Think I will post on the main board now to gauge interest