"When You Have Kids-"

[Ginger Tea]

Just say
"Yeah, when I have kid's I'll be on maternity leave and you will have to do all my work for me."

[blas87]

Ohhh myyyyylanta.

That is genius!

But I can almost guarantee that they won't shut up, they'll just change the subject and start whining about how much it would suck to have to run my machines.

[LexiaFira]

i think its also more of, when you have kids
the small mess in the backseat in the car is not a priority over hey its breakfast/snack/lunch or whatever mealtime. or diapers...
and game time doesn't seem as entertaining as making my kid smile as of late. or rather, those violent - albeit fun as all get out - games are not worth scaring my kid to get play time as watching kids shows. as cheesy as they are its kind of a work out.

but then again, i chose to not pick up EVERY mess, not work out as much and not play games as much cause its not about me its about my kid. and those that say when you have a kid negatively need to let it go. even before daughter was even conceived I really didn't mind to begin with. wasn't a slob but it wasn't always spotless either.

tell the coworkers well if kids are THAT much of a pain for you maybe you should be abstinent? i mean its the only 100% sure fire method to NOT get kids. just to be a pain

[aurelemsrealm]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, parenthood is not for everyone. That's not meant to be any kind of value judgement. It's just a simple fact.

You have your own reason(s) why or why not, and that's your decision to make since it's your life to live. The only consideration others have in the matter is to accept that you've made the decision you've made. If others can accept it, it's great that everyone can be happy. If others can't accept it, so sad, too bad.

Speaking of parenting, as for me, I never saw myself as being the nurturing kind. At most, I always saw myself more as the spoil 'em and send 'em home kind. I like kids who can be fairly well behaved. I have a low tolerance for bratty behaviors. Most of all, I like my down time and privacy. I love having the house to myself, and being free to do my own thing. Now that I have a child, I'm learning that I'm a better father than I ever considered. I'm learning that I don't mind the changes as much as I thought I would. It can be trying and tiring at times, but I rather enjoy being a parent. That's just my experience in the last year.

[Hyena Dandy]

There's a certain truth to the 'when you/if you have kids X' statement.

When you have kids your house will not be perfect. But it won't necessarily look like a hurricane hit it either.

When you have kids, your car will not be perfect, but the same thing.

When you have kids you will probably have LESS time to spend online/shopping/etc, but that hardly means you'll never have time for it.





Kids are wonderful creatures that make life a lot more complicated. They're not for everyone. There's a difference between accepting that things'll never be perfect and deciding 'fuck it' and blaming the kids.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Ugh. I hate this statement so much, especially when it's tied in with "But, you'll change your mind!" after I state that no, I do not intend to have kids. Not now, not ever. I also loathe people saying, "Have you discussed this with Fiance?" Why yes, I have, and he doesn't want kids either. Stfu.

[MadMike]

That's another thing I hate about this statement - the assumption that I'll be having kids any day now.

That one always annoyed me as well. For those of you who don't know, I have one son from my disastrous relationship with my evil ex, and he's been living with me ever since I kicked her fat ugly ass to the curb. Since then, I've married someone else, but we've never had any kids together. We thought about it, and I know she really wanted to, but money's a bit tight, and we're not in our 20s anymore. Plus, she even said that if we're not both onboard with the idea (which I eventually came to realize I wasn't), then we shouldn't, as it wouldn't be fair to the kid.

But we had to deal with a number of friends, and even members of my own family, who had it in their heads that we had to have kids together. Uh, no. I just turned 42. I do not want to still be raising kids when I'm in my 60s. I actually went off on my mom at a family dinner, got up from the table, threw my arms in the air, and walked out of the room because she wouldn't stop pestering me about it.

I don't mind if people ask if we're going to have any, as long as they accept my answer and explanation as to why we're not. But it annoys me when they ask when we're having kids, as my wife's one friend who has a lot of kids did once. I just looked her in the eye with a perfectly straight face and said, "I didn't realize we were required to." My wife was annoyed with me at first, until her friend kept pushing, and finally my wife snapped back at her with, "When are you going to stop having kids?"

After a pregnancy scare, where my wife's cycle mysteriously skipped a whole month, I ended up "chopping down the family tree" as I like to call it. Not only did I not have to worry about "accidents" anymore, it shut up the people who had been pestering us about having kids -- at least the ones who knew about it. I have a coworker who keeps reminding me that my son is almost out of the house, and that I "need" to have another one. I don't even let her get a rise out of me. I just look her straight in the eye, and ask her, "For what?" Maybe if I tell her what I had done, it will shut her up. Surprisingly, so far no one's pointed out that I could get it reversed. No way is that going to happen. It was a somewhat painful experience, and I'll be damned if I'm going back and having it undone, and having done it all for nothing.

[Greenday]

Getting snipped, along with lasek eye surgery, is at the top of my list of things to do when I get home from Afghanistan. My general practitioner even okayed it and said I was responsible for even waiting 5-6 years and thinking about it that long before asking a doctor. So I'm hoping she'll be able to hook me up with a urologist who will do it for me.

[MadMike]

Getting snipped, along with lasek eye surgery, is at the top of my list of things to do when I get home from Afghanistan.

Good luck. While it wasn't as painless as I had hoped, it wasn't the worst thing in the world, either. I'm a big wimp when it comes to pain, and I still got thru it. It was over pretty quickly. My appointment was at 8:15, and by 9:15 I was back home on the couch. The only thing I wish I had done differently was that I should have gone and filled the prescription they gave me for pain that "you shouldn't need." I felt great until the injection wore off, and then I was wishing I had the prescription. But when that happened, the last thing I wanted to do was go anywhere, and as the prescription was for a highly addictive controlled substance, I didn't think they'd give it to my wife if I tried to send her. I did spend a lot of time on the couch with ice packs on me, so you'll probably want to make sure you have enough on hand.

Here's a funny comment that my son made when he came home to check on me. I swear, I don't know where that kid got his smartassed nature from. He made me laugh, which made it hurt. This may be somewhat TMI, so if you don't want to read it, don't look down...








OK, you were warned...








I was on the couch in a bathrobe, holding ice on myself when he came home. My clothes were in a pile on the floor, with my shorts at the top of the file. My shorts had traces of blood in them, which they assured me was normal. Without missing a beat, my son told me, "I see you got your period!"

[Greenday]

Smart kid.

Yea, I've learned to just get the prescription filled even if I'm not in paid right afterwards. I will be later and I won't be out and about.

Two of my coworkers were trying to argue with me today that I'd want kids later. I'm still not sure why they'd think I'd even want kids.

[Giggle Goose]

Getting snipped, along with lasek eye surgery, is at the top of my list of things to do when I get home from Afghanistan.

I had Lasik in January!! Best thing I've ever done. Feel free to PM me with any questions.

Back on topic: this thread reminds me of a couple that my bf and I are friends with. They've been married for about a year and a half, and they always begin sentences with "when you get married..." (mostly the female). Bf and I are dreading the day when they start with the "when you have kids" routine. We're not sure we want them yet. Marriage isn't even an option until I graduate with my master's, and thats not for over two years from now. Close, but not soon enough that I want to start hopping on the mommy train. Ick... (No offense to those of you who have kids, I just HATE how they dominate conversations everywhere I go).

[Ginger Tea]

If I ever end up in a relationship again, I would love to meet someone with the same kind of humour as me, that way if anyone ever did the whole kids routine, I would see if she's up for responding with

"You do realise I was born a man?"

[telecom_goddess]

I was on the couch in a bathrobe, holding ice on myself when he came home. My clothes were in a pile on the floor, with my shorts at the top of the file. My shorts had traces of blood in them, which they assured me was normal. Without missing a beat, my son told me, "I see you got your period!"

Does that mean you have PMS

I'm running away now.....

[Tanasi]

It's been my experience that kids are messy if you allow them to be messy. Our house has never been messy (expect on very rare occasions) as neither the wife nor I like to live like that. The kids have always been expected to put their play-purties away every day (they also kept the indoor toys in their rooms.) It's always been the rule when you finish with a tool, utinsel or whatever clean it or rinse it off and put it away/in the dish washer or appropriate place, after all it only takes a few minutes and avoids the wrath of Daddy. I've always stressed the point of taking care of your stuff by using the saying "If you care of it, it will take of you."
My Mom is a neat freak and my Dad was a slob, I tend to take after my Mom but not I'm not as anal about it as she is. My Dad and I clashed over tools, when I finish I clean them and put them away in their assigned tool box/cabinet that way I know where to get them when needed. My Dad on the other hand like his father tended to leave them lay where they were last used. On several occasions I've walked all over hell and half of Georgia to find the steel fence post driver because Dad couldn't remember where he last used it. I can't live like that. Dad's been gone nearly twelve years and I'm finding tools where he left them. The last one was this past fall and I found his matock leaned against a tree, the handle was like paper because the termites had eaten everything expect the steel.
I guess with kids if you don't let the messes get started then there's not as much to clean, even little kids can understand putting their toys away.
As far as dressing and money, the wife is a clothes and shoe horse so she's not lacking for any and we've been lucky with money and managed to live within our means.