My "fault" for not showing up

[insertNameHere]

So I am wondering, am I an asshole for being "unable" as she put it to take the time to show up with the rest of my family to her wedding. They all drove about 16hrs to get to said wedding, actually I think it was longer. She called on Mother's Day to tell the parents she was engaged to be married.... in just shy of a month. To which, everyone at work already had vacation days planned and they couldn't stand to let me have a week off on short notice to go down there, along with the wedding being Thurs Night, and Sat early morning I need to be at the base for drill. No way my parents were gonna have me drive down and spend couple hundred dollars on a plane ticket to get me home Or be forced to leave early.

So is it my fault when given a month notice she was marrying some guy I never met after her long track record of horrible choices, I really wasn't to bothered I couldn't attend. And I did have heart enough not to say "I'm sure ill be at your next one", idk there is just something that sounds stupid about marrying a solider on short notice because he about to get transferred or deployed and that way he gets more money and they would pay to relocate her as his wife.

My Older brother is his own boss gets vacation whenever he feels like it, little brother hardly is called into work anymore so they gladly gave him a few days, as there isn't really enough work for my mom either, they didn't mind letting her go, and my dad is getting ready to retire and has plenty of seniority so they don't really care what he does when he puts in for random days off on short notice.

Wonder what grief she gave to my cousin for not showing up for not being able to get time off work. Or the grandparents for not wanting to make the trip.

OH and part of my not giving a shit is I learned all this on facebook, no call no text, random post I spotted on facebook. First call I got was on the wedding day to bitch I hadn't wished her congratulations, after I had been at work all day and was about to pass out with a headache.

[AdminAssistant]

Is this a cousin or a sibling or what?

[HYHYBT]

The part about going ahead and getting married to get relocation money actually makes good sense... IF you would get married anyway, and IF you don't mind the disadvantages that come with a rushed wedding. Those may include any or all from a long list, including having to pick a less desirable venue, etc... or a guest list limited by who can make it on short notice. YOU chose a rush wedding; if that means that all who shows up is the justice of the peace and maybe some random strangers, so be it.

[bainsidhe]

Truth be told, she (I'm assuming a sister?) shouldn't be upset if none of the family could get time off. Why? Facebook. I mean really? And it was short notice. Besides, traveling that far is expensive, no matter the transportation, and vacation time hard to come by. And I feel for your family who aren't getting hours and may be short on funds, yet are expected to travel cross-country on short notice. I hate hate hate how family has no concept just how expensive it is to travel. Since I live 1100 miles away from my own family, it's completely on me to visit and I keep getting asked when I'm going to visit next. Not more than once a year unless someone else is buying that ticket.

[Akasa]

Facebook really? No call? Boy she was really excited about all gotta tell the world wasn't she? I wouldn't have gone either.

[aurelemsrealm]

From what I've gathered based on your posts, it sounds like really poor planning. I know I can't afford (time or money) to just drop everything going on in my life on such short notice unless it was something truly unexpected. If she'd been in an accident or suffered a heart attack, that would be understandable. I would certainly make the necessary arrangements no matter what for someone I care about. However, a wedding is something that requires a bit of notice and planning. I'd be less likely to just take off and go no matter how much I care about the person. I figure if they really care about me being there for something like that, they'll meet me halfway at least.

[insertNameHere]

Yes it is my sister I am referring too, and personally I have enjoyed having my family out of town. Been able to get sleep when I want, relax when I want, go shooting without anyone complaining. Even with me working most of it, nice to come home and have some quiet.