Topping tiredness

[Lace Neil Singer]

OK, let me explain this one. Basically, "topping" is when you say, "Oh god, I'm shattered. I didn't get a wink of sleep last night cuz of my insomnia striking again," and another person feels the need to top it by saying, "Wait til you have kids! You'll be tired all the time!"

The worst part of it, is that the people who do this seem to have an agenda; ie motherhood, which they push all the time, and yet seem to spend most of their time complaining about it. While I don't expect the whole world to fall on my neck and give me sympathy about my insomnia, it is something I don't choose to have and does affect me a lot, especially when I have it the night before an early start at work. I'd much prefer someone to say "Poor you; I know how you feel. The baby kept me up all night and I'm as tired as you are!" rather than rushing to belittle my tiredness and topping it.

Does that make sense?

[Rageaholic]

The worst part of it, is that the people who do this seem to have an agenda; ie motherhood, which they push all the time, and yet seem to spend most of their time complaining about it

I never understood this. Why would you push an agenda when you make it seem like such a hassle? It's like those old folks who brag about how in their day everything was more difficult. Do they just want everyone else to be as unhappy as them? Cause that's what it sounds like to me.

[jackfaire]

I gotta admit I was a smug ass about it.

"Oh wait you didn't get a good night's sleep your kid kept you up? Yeah my kid sleeps through the night every night"

I was so proud.

[Evandril]

Having had kids, and having dealt with sleepless nights both via kids, and just not being able to sleep...Kids are easier. Yeah, you might be doing something, but you have a *reason*...Nowhere near as frustrating as not being able to sleep because you just can't sleep...For me, at least

[Mishi]

I've had this! I was out one evening with my best friend, feeling tired and sore, but went out anyway because it had been organised for a while. We met one of her workmates, who commented on my tiredness in a snarky tone. I said something along the lines of "Yeah, everything has been a bit busy lately and so I need to catch up on some sleep." only to receive the standard: "Oh, just wait until you have a kid. I never get any sleep, *more whinging about how hard parenting one child is*." So I shrugged and said "Well, that's what you signed up for." Cues spluttering + plus my best friend trying not to laugh. Standard response: "You'll feel differently and understand when you have kids." Best friend loses her battle with the laughter and says: "But Mishi already has TWO!"

[blas87]

I was just told this morning "Wait until you have kids! You think a spider in your apartment is gross? Wait until your kid comes home covered in dirt!"

Err no. One, I don't want kids. Two, if I had any, they'd never be playing in dirt.

What is with all of these people I work with that have kids, trying to convince me that I will be a fat ugly slob once I birth some babies, and that my house will be a pigstye and that I will have nothing but problems?

[Lace Neil Singer]

Plus, insomnia is way worse for the reasons Evandril mentioned. At least if you have kids, you can fall asleep if you get the chance and you did sign up for it, after all... with insomnia, I end up sitting on the internet all night, just out of desperation to leave the tossing and turning in bed. I've even necked some cough medicine just to try and get off to sleep. At least the kids will eventually sleep thru the night one day.

Also, what with the parents who constantly moan about the problems of being a parent; if being a parent is so hard, tiring and problematic, why the hell do you want me to sign up for it, too? I'd sooner not buy in to something that's going to be nothing but constant torment.

[blas87]

I'm so tempted to say "Dontcha wish you hadn't forgotten your Pill?"

Or it's always fun to rub it in that you don't have kids.

I'm not a known prick or anything, but if you're going to try and tell me how my future is going to be, then I'll say something to make you feel bad back. You don't know my future just as much as I don't.

I can't complain about being broke, but they can because their kids are the reason they are broke. I can't complain about a mess I have in my apartment but they can because their kids made the messes. I can't complain about bugs in my apartment but they can because their kids bring the bugs in.

[jackfaire]

I was just told this morning "Wait until you have kids! You think a spider in your apartment is gross? Wait until your kid comes home covered in dirt!"

Uhm if you think that is bad wait until your apple is an orange.

Those two aren't really related at all. Obviously dirty kids bother that person more than spiders fine but her "I have it worse than you" doesn't even work unless everyone agrees that dirty kids are worse than spiders.

Which personally I am a little more wary of the spider. She would get a "what the hell does that have to do with anything" look from me.

[Eisa]

Eurgh, I hate mommy-jacking. I was going to say "Ha! I'VE NEVER SLEPT!" as a response, though. How's that for topping?

If anyone tells me "wait until I have kids," I want to peer around and go, "OMG I didn't realize hell had frozen over!" ...because that's the only time I'm having children. Ugh. And I hate the attitude that things are only bad with kids. Um, no, life can suck balls without kids in multiple ways.

[DrFaroohk]

One-uppers in general are annoying, whether its tiredness, some other form of suffering, or who has the largest penis. Well, that's what they really all come down to anyway.

[jackfaire]

One-uppers in general are annoying,

Two uppers are more annoying

[protege]

What about three- and four-uppers?


I've posted about this sort of thing on CS. I have a coworker, who just *has* to outdo everyone. No matter what you've been through or done...Sarah always has a tale to top all tales

[jackfaire]

.Sarah always has a tale to top all tales

Tell her in front of people about the time you were scared half to death

[Boozy]

Plus, insomnia is way worse for the reasons Evandril mentioned.

Insomnia is definitely the worst reason to lose sleep, because there's this horrible psychological component to it. Insomniacs blame themselves, and that makes the whole cycle worse.

At least exhausted parents can sack out at a moment's notice, whenever they get the chance. Insomniacs are constantly fighting an inner battle with themselves.

We don't have children, and my husband, while hardly an insomniac, has thrown himself into work. He often doesn't get enough sleep. He hates to complain, especially around parents of young babies and toddlers. But I feel he should be able to bitch as much as anyone. Some people have kids, some people have time-consuming careers, but either way, it's a choice, and some good-natured bitching should be shared equally.