Being afraid of family

[DrFaroohk]

Does anyone have a family member they're afraid of? Not real honest to god he's gonna kill me fear, but more like, "Oh my god don't let Uncle Hiram know you and I are living together but not married he'll flip!"

"Don't let mom find out I smoke! Don't let know I drink! OMG!"

Seriously. You old timers need to quit terrorizing us. Don't be such judgemental dicks. Just because you happened to have made it 60-70 years without dying doesn't make you anything special. You have no right to go around being a buttlicker and ruining people's days.

And furthermore, take the fucking hint when your family is trying their best to get rid of you! And understand that it's your own damn fault!! You can't act like you're that senile already, or else how about we put you in a home? Yeah, not the good home, the ECONOMY HOME. Let's hope the staff doesn't abuse you too much. If you're lucky they'll spray lysol on your bedsores.

[protege]

Nope, I can't say that I have one of those. The only one who would say anything...would be Uncle Dick. And no, I'm not afraid of him. I'd simply reply that if he said anything about what *I* do, I'd bring up all the shit that *his* kids have done. His son, who was thrown out of college for "academic issues," and for various "incidents" with campus and local police. Or, his daughter...who had a kid out of wedlock. Or, the younger daughter...who wasn't married, but living with some dude who worked at Sears. All of those things are quietly ignored, yet he would say something if anyone else did them. In other words, mind your own damn business, you fucking hypocrite

[Andara Bledin]

Not here. I'm a grown adult and if the other grown adults in my family want to disapprove of who I am and what I do, they can fuck right off.

^-.-^

[Boozy]

I used to be afraid of what my dad thinks of my life choices, but that was at a time in my life where I was completely dependant on him for financial support. That's no longer a factor, so I don't really care anymore.

He says a lot of dumb judgmental shit, but I have no problem disagreeing with him now. He isn't the type to "agree to disagree", so I just say my piece and walk away. Usually with him still frothing at the mouth.

I still work for him, and I'd like that arrangement to continue....but then, so does he. He needs my assistance more than I need the paycheck, and he knows it.

Oddly, I am more dependant (financially and emotionally) on my husband now than I have been on anyone at any point during my adult life. But there's no fear of judgment there, and never has been. I can really see how vastly different my marriage is from that of my parents, who are divorced.

[siead_lietrathua]

i take the approach of what they dont know wont hurt them. after all, my parents are failry conservative christians, though as years go on they are getting more and more openminded. but there are alot of things about me they dont know and don't need to know.
besides, my parents are also my landlords, so not causing drama is generally a good idea.

[LadyBarbossa]

We're like that about my Dad, and to some extent my Mom. I wouldn't care so much except I'm living rent-free in their house and don't want to be out on my ass over something stupid. I wear pants outside in the summer because I'm afraid Dad will flip out if he sees the tattoo on my leg. Mom still doesn't know that I drink on occasion and I don't want her to, because she's afraid I'd be a very mean drunk and won't be able to control myself and in turn, become an alcoholic. She found mysterious brown matter in the trash can yesterday and accused my nephew of chewing. I'm pretty sure he does and if so it was pretty dumb of him to put it in the trash, but she still was having a pretty bad fit.

But with Dad, it's gotten to the point no one even wants to answer his phone calls anymore (he's a truck driver) for fear of long, pointless conversations where he'll talk about nothing, or go on long, detailed pseudo sermons that no one really wants to hear. When I first started my current position, I mentioned one of the pharmacists I work with is from India, and he went on a tangent about how 'they' come over here and steal our jobs Really, at least 90% of the Indian families I know or who are customers have excellent jobs, are very polite, and to see any of them on welfare is a rarity. I admire that. When I mentioned I invited a friend over for Thanksgiving last year, who I was interested in, was also a divorced single father, he had issue with it. Apparently I could do better. But that doesn't stop him from thinking "Oh, so and so from church would be GREAT with your brother!" My brother is also a divorced single (and deadbeat, uninvolved) father. So it's ok to set up some poor church mouse woman with him, but it's not ok for me to date divorced parents? And when he is home, it's always work, chores, and more work & chores. If we dare to have any R&R planned, he gets bent out of shape and goes on about us being lazy, or not wanting to include him or avoiding him. We almost always invite him along on our R&R trips, but he never comes. He just gets upset that we don't nix our plans because he came home.

[MaggieTheCat]

I used to be pretty terrified of my parents, in the same way the OP described. I don't depend on them for anything anymore (well, okay, they pay my cell phone plan as part of my Christmas present every year, but it would be easy for me to get a new plan if I needed to) so I'd like to think I could stand up to them these days if I had to. I haven't really had a need to, though. I think they realize that they can't bully me anymore so they don't bother. Plus they seem to actually approve of most of my life choices anyway.

[KellyHabersham]

I don't know if "afraid" is the correct term, but I'm a bit reluctant to mention anything regarding dating, sex, or birth control around my mom and other family members. Reason being the way they reacted when I found out I was pregnant.........I was kind of considered the "slut" in the family, and for some years afterwards, it was REALLY tough getting people to understand that I wasn't going to automatically get in the same situation every guy whom I met. (I got a lot of lectures about how guys my age were all just after sex, but when I met the one I was meant to marry, that would all "magically change")

[HYHYBT]

The only thing along those lines I've ever really wanted to keep from anyone is being gay. And the only real relative I decided never to tell was Grandma. (In her right mind, she probably would have come around eventually, but with as much stroke damage as she had... well, it would have caused trouble with no possible benefit to balance it out.) She died August 8th. That just leaves my brother's "hard shell" Primitive Baptist in-laws. Great people in many ways, and the best you could ever hope to find in some, but not on that sort of thing. And the strain or stress would land squarely on the family in between: my brother, their daughter, and their kids. It's not worth it, at least not so long as I'm single.

[powerboy]

The only thing for me, is my mom. And my dad to a point. I smoke cigs and cigars. My wife smoke cigs also. They know that she does, and they are okay with it. But once, my mom found out I had one cig and she didn't let it drop for a couple of weeks. Yeah I am an adult, but there is that level of respect and plus right now, we are living with them rent free. Soooo Yeah

[Rageaholic]

This extends beyond family, but I don't want anyone reading things I post on the internet. Particulary on message boards like here. This is why I always do my internetz in private. I just know a family member is going to try to take peak at what I'm doing (they've done it before and it's annoying as hell). When I'm in public (or even in the same room as someone), I feel like I have to be extra careful what I do. I just don't feel comfortable posting opinions and rants on message boards while people could be looking over my shoulder. ESPECIALLY family.

[DrFaroohk]

Yeah I'm the same way. Most of the time I go covert mode and leave no trail, but I tend to forget, and I hate people reading my stuff. I'm a different person here than I am irl and I dont want too many people seeing this particular side of me.