Other people who dictate your appearance

[AdminAssistant]

I think my mother saw us as little reflections of her. If our clothes weren't immaculately pressed, our hair neat, and our outfits matching and perfectly accessorized, the she was a failure as a parent and a human being. Oh, that's the other thing...my mother loves jewelry and wears a ton of it. As in, 3-5 gold chains, 3-4 bracelets, a watch, and rings on every finger. So, as kids, she would bug Dad for money to buy us lots of jewelry as well. She still doesn't understand why I only wear my engagement ring and occasionally some CZ studs and an amethyst necklace that Fiance gave me.

[blas87]

My mom was only obsessive about my hair when I was little. When I was old enough to decide how I wanted it, she let me. Even let me start bleaching it blonder when I was in middle school and saw my hair going ashier and darker and I didn't like it.

My mom used to flat iron my hair straight because it was so static-y.....well, it's always been that way. But when it's completely flat and full of product to stay that way, it behaves.

[Snowbird]

My sister has light brown hair naturally, though she has almost always dyed it blonde and that is the way that everyone has proclaimed that they love it. One year, she decided to go red, and it was so beautiful to me, I was speechless at first, she absolutely glowed. Unfortunately, everyone else told her that she was better as a blonde and she believed it, she hasn't been a redhead since.

My own experience comes from having a strict mother, who dropped me off at a hair salon when I was fourteen. I got into the car afterwards, she gushed (and I mean really gushed) about how adorable my haircut was, and how nice it was of the stylist to put bobby pins in to hold it that way.

There were no bobby pins, it was cut short on one side, and gradually longer on the other, and the second her fingers felt it, the hairstyle was immediately condemned as being punk, no daughter of hers would be seen like that, etc., and she made me get the other side cut off too. It looked horrible, but hey, at least she was happy.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"Really, because I think your hair would look better if it was __________."

I'd give it right back to them. Every time they bring it up, mention something about their appearance that you feel would look better otherwise. I wonder how long before they shit their pie holes?

Yeah, I agree with this. Although I'll go one further and ask you to consider why you'd spend time around people who spend this much of your visit insulting your appearance.

My mother used to do this to me about my husband. I'd just say "why don't you stop being so passive aggressive and ask HIM why he doesn't get a haircut if HIS HAIR bothers you so much?" Of course, she never did, but she got sick enough of me saying that that she knocked it off.

His mother did the same thing, more or less, and when she said "why don't you get J to get a haircut?" I'd just say "why on earth would I do that? I think it looks totally hot." She got pretty sick of hearing that, too. So she knocked it off.

[Giggle Goose]

I feel bad for all the ladies here who were so harped on by their moms...mine pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, and would even help me dye my hair whenever the mood struck me

But I definitely understand the OPs frustration about other peoples' opinions. My sister got mad when I dyed my dark blonde hair to brown when we were in high school because "she was the brunette and I was supposed the blonde." Umm no, sorry, we're not little kids anymore. She's since accepted the fact that my hair has naturally gotten darker over the years.

[PepperElf]

mom usually just says, "Oh Pepper...." and reminds me how beautiful my natural hair color is.

well up until now. now that i'm getting more and more grey she's encouraging me to color but she preferred i keep my hair looking as close to the original color as possible.

and she advised me to not color my hair dark colors - like black or very dark brown - when I'm older. she said that dad's sister does that and it looks very fake and unflattering. (especially since the woman is in her late 60s early 70s, so having black hair at that age isn't believable anyway)

although for mom i know she just doesn't want me looking bad... although yes sometimes i'd like to have shock-pink hair just for fun. although it's not really realistic for me either

[Miss_Maple_Leaf]

My mother can be the same way with me at times.

She mostly comments on my hair, though she used to comment on my clothes as well.

With my clothes, it was "don't you want to dress more stylish?" (said because I practically live in jeans and t-shirts, which I'm perfectly happy with.) Although this was mainly in my teen years. Once I hit adulthood she just gave up, realizing that it was a lost cause.

And with my hair, it's mainly about how I choose to wear it in a ponytail all the time, instead of wearing it down. My hair is thick and wavy, and goes halfway down my back. My mother keeps telling me how beautiful it is and how I should keep it down to show it off.
I agree that it looks nice long rather than short (I look horrible with short hair ), but it tends to bug me when I wear it loose, hence the ponytails I sport every day.

Also, I've recently taken to dyeing my hair. It used to be a chestnut brown, and now it's a coppery red. My mother hates the colour (she says that my hair looks orange ) but at least she didn't give me any crap about it after the first time I came home from the salon with that colour.