Calling me and then not talking

[the_std]

So, senor boogie woogie, because someone (Jim's wife) was rude to you on the phone, you've had bosses who were strict about answering the phone, your parents forced you to use a dated phone greeting and because you hate land lines... Do those four reasons make it okay for you to be rude to others on the phone by refusing to provide your name when asked for it?

I have been in the call centre trenches and been in a retail position where we were forced to give phone calls top priority, and neither of those experiences have left me with any great love of speaking on the phone. I try to text whenever possible. Yet, even with that, if I have to speak on the phone, I do it as politely as I can. You know why? Because it's easier for me, it's easier for the other person, and there are no crossed wires or hard feelings. It makes my day go smoother and reduces tension. What are you truly getting out of refusing to give your name besides a tougher time speaking to the person who you were trying to contact in the first place?

[blas87]

See, I text rather than talk, because our plan has very little minutes to share amongst the entire family. I burn several up in just a few days checking my bank account on the phone (too scared to do it online now).

I HATE when someone starts the conversation with me, and you know how it normally goes I send you something back, you send me something back, occasionally you or I might send another if we made a mistake or had a new thought....

Apparently, though, no matter what the situation, it's MY job to keep the conversation going. Say I send something like "Just sitting here watching a movie", don't get a response for a while, so I say oh well, go have a smoke, take a shower, lay down, whatever. Check my phone a bit later, and it's "Let me guess, you fell asleep didn't you?"

Um, I was the last one to send you something. If you can't keep even a text message conversation going, that's your problem.

[Ree]

My late husband's brother calls me every week, and it's the very same thing.

Beyond the "How are you? How's work? How's (my daughter, granddaughter, boyfriend, cat)?" there is not a single other thing to talk about, so there is nothing but awkward silence. I usually attempt small talk until he finally says, "Well, I'll let you go," in a way that makes me feel really guilty, as if I have made him feel he was an intrusion into my day.

He's paranoid schizophrenic and rarely leaves his apartment.
He has no friends, really.
He doesn't even have internet because it magnified his paranoia big time!

He does have a computer that he is constantly messing with, and once in a while, he has tech support issues that he wants me to diagnose and fix over the phone.

He watches TV and catches up a bit on current events, so sometimes he can discuss that, but not very often.

If I don't answer, he will then call me every 15 minutes all day Saturday and then again on Sunday until he does get an answer.

It's long distance for him, so he will call and let it ring just long enough, and then hangs up before I can answer so that I have to call him back and then the charges are on my phone bill.

He's been doing the weekly phone call since my husband died. I think it's very sweet of him to call and check on me, but I absolutely dread it, and I cringe when I hear the phone ring and see his number come up.

[blas87]

I understand some people are really, really challenged as far as conversations go, I just don't understand how someone can feel someone else has to keep it going, or why they even bother trying to instigate a three hour conversation they really won't add anything to, and then get perterbed that you have other things to do and don't just sit at home waiting for their intermittent responses here and there that really are nothing but "Haha" or "Ok" or "Alright" or "Really?"

[protege]

Really, it isn't the other person's fault, they're doing what they're told/asked, and hanging up on them because of it comes across as childish, and is actually one of MY pet peeves when it comes to phone etiquette.

That's it. At work, I have to ask when someone wants to be passed along to the boss. We get *hundreds* of calls at work per day. He has enough to do, and he doesn't want to deal with telemarketers and scammers. Can't say I blame him

Where I work, if you don't give me a name, you don't get the boss. Period.

Here too. You want the boss? You will tell me who you are and why you're calling. I'm the gatekeeper, and you *will* play by my rules. Don't want to? Fuck off then. I don't have to be nice, especially to scammers. Same thing at home. Don't put me on hold. You called *me.* Either identify yourself and what you want, or I'm hanging up. Again, I don't have to be nice. Call up and waste my time, and you've already pissed me off. Cut to the chase, in other words.

[LadyBarbossa]

My Dad is notorious for this, we cringe when we see his number on the screen. He calls the house every few hours on a daily basis (he's a truck driver) and will just ask "So . . . whatcha doing?" And if there's not awkward silence, he'll start going on about this great thing he heard about on Dr. Oz, or worse, let the subject go to politics or religion. You can't make small talk with him without an argument or some moral point being brought into the conversation.

My older sister is guilty of calling and then not paying attention half the time because she's talking/arguing with her kids.

[powerboy]

I have a friend, who whenever she is on the phone with anyone, she starts talking or yelling at her kids. Cannot blame her, because when she is on the phone, they start yelling right there. They do it to us, when we are over also.