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being emotionally trapped

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  • being emotionally trapped

    as my mom told me that we are in the family. I have trouble wrapping my head around this because if have felt if I am ever trapped in any way especially emotionally I either walk away, leave, run away or make everyone miserable. The last part has yet to ever happen.

    The two main situations I can bring up that I feel that this is what is meant by them are this.

    My uncle J married his second wife and in the 7 years they have been together, the best example I can give is that she is fast becoming kara's ex in the controlling factor.
    Or the short version is is a controlling unhappy person with anger issues - as in she is angry at something or someone and instead directs it at uncle j - and its always her way. He has bent over backwards to make her happy. And this is the same uncle that is in the hospital recovering from quad bypass.
    Because he married her we have to play nice? I say no i don't, she ever turns that anger and controlling on me I refuse to play and will tell her as such or I will walk away from them both because I cannot promise to hold my tongue in front of my uncle whom i care about.

    The other situation is my nieces lately. The eldest of the two when she has her tantrums or little episodes when she gets tired says some very worrisome things. Such as "i'm stupid" or "they punch me in the face" or some wild story that ends up "and they will kill me" The few times the nieces are here I've not seen her break down this bad. I know she is tired but even at her most tired she never cried like someone was dead or fear for her life and say the things she is saying. I know who tells her she is stupid or i will kill you, but because it my sis in law and i don't live with her i cannot do anything?
    The fuck I can't! I have a very very strong suspicion that it is the girl's father because the few conversations I have heard of her venting about him on the phone similar words have come up or he has screamed at the kids because they dared wake him or talked back to him. I don't care who he is, I will come over there and take my sis in law and her kids away from him to save them because this is not normal behavior to me for those girls. Not ever.

    So the phrase emotionally trapped feels off to me because if I have ever been the words didn't seem to match, it felt more like emotional manipulation and for both terms I don't play that way. However the majority of the time I leave as opposed to fighting back when it involved me. However this one its about two innocent kids.
    It makes me angry because I am almost 100% sure its the father, and sis in law is enabling him or if she is trying to fix it she isn't dealing with what he does. And at this point I want to call cps or take the nieces for a few days for our own family observation . I dislike being unable to do much of anything about it without causing worse drama or getting the other family members mad at me even though they won't do anything either.
    Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
    Yeah we're so over, over
    Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

  • #2
    i did find out why just a few hours ago. its a combination of nieces dad saying something to her in anger and the other half of her mother saying that was a stupid thing to do don't to it again in a well meaning tone. and niece hears it as i am stupid because i did something stupid. however her mother doing the best she can wants to see if her oldest daughter does not have ADD or ADHD due to the way she has been acting. and no nieces mother honestly did not intend to call her daughter stupid, only to tell her a particular decision or something she did was dumb.

    i did try to explain that as well meaning as the parents may mean their kid hears it that way instead of. try and say something else or when she gets the way she does reassure her she is not dumb and that her parents love her. beyond that...myself having went through being told worse and my own dad meaning every word he said to me do not want my own kid or family to have to endure anything similar
    Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
    Yeah we're so over, over
    Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

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