Everything Is A Poop/Fart Joke

[blas87]

Hey, I'm not a prude. By any means. In fact, I can be pretty gross. I've contributed my fair share of icky tales on CS. And I can laugh with the best of them at the fart/poop jokes on Family Guy and the other like cartoons. I realize I already made a joke thread, and this is similar, but it's all the same joke here, not just variations or stories.

But there are some people who cannot seem to understand that not everything is poop or fart related. And sometimes, it embarrasses me.

Not every single creaky noise in my apartment, stuff shuffling around in the compartments of my car, rumbling of my belly, is a fart. I shudder in the company of a few people in particular, because just about any joke they crack, will be about farts. Or shit.

I mean, I can't even say what I'm making for dinner or what I brought home for dinner without "Hmm, bet your couch will be brown later!" or "Get ready to have the shits!" comments.

How old are you already? Yeah, it was funny the first ten times my tummy bubbled after I ate, and you joked that I was farting all over your leg. I wasn't. I wasn't even sitting by you.

It was only funny the first five thousand times I said I was cooking dinner or I just got home from *whatever place* and you had to comment that I would be shitting myself later.

Or, if the inevitable happens and I farted (oh dear God it happens) you have to remind me every day for the rest of time that I farted when I was sleeping on your couch.

Like I said, I can be gross myself. I laugh when people fart. I laugh when people in movies and on TV fart. I get the mad giggles when Peter Griffin says "Diiiiahrrrea".....but not every joke I crack or comment I make is about a nasty bodily function.

People like this ruin the fun of bodily humor.

[aurelemsrealm]

This sounds like a segment for Peter Griffin's "Grinds My Gears" program. LOL!

I understand what you are saying, though. I think it's poor form when people think it's funny to belch or fart and then carry on about it like it's hilarious around people they barely know or even complete strangers. I do laugh if it happens to someone I know fairly well, or some kind of situation like that. I also laugh if it happens in a way that catches someone else off guard, or something of that nature. Like everything, there is a time, place, and situation in which it truly can be funny, but mileage varies on such things. Usually, it's just a matter of being a spontaneous, absurd, off-the-wall kind of event. Other times, it's just simply gross and disgusting.

[BlaqueKatt]

I'd say next time someone makes a poop joke, say something like "you know some of us don't air our bizarre sexual fetishes in public, what is wrong with you?" Or "leave me out of what goes on in your weird fantasies please, you sicko."

[blas87]

Now I'm curious as to what the response would be.

Honestly, people are better off not trying to make jokes than to continually recycle fart and poop jokes.

Thankfully, no one's really done it public and royally humiliated me, but I've wanted to throw the phone at the wall and I've had to clench my teeth while enduring the "So are your pants brown now?" or "So did you spray paint the couch after eating that McDonalds?" jokes.

Or the joke about the stuff in my car sounding like farts, which it doesn't.....if I say anything in regards to cleaning or whatnot, it's like "You should be cleaning the shit stains off your driver's seat."

[Canarr]

Personally, I'd hate to live in a world where fart jokes aren't funny... but that whole joke line about shitting yourself eludes me. Doesn't really seem funny to me - and I'm known (and cursed) by my friends for belching and farting without shame.

[Andara Bledin]

Well... you could always comment that at least the fart is fresher than that joke. >_>

^-.-^

[blas87]

And here I was, trying to think of something clever, the best I had was "I appreciate your concern for my couch, my car, and my pants. I'm sure there's a number you could call."

But wow. The fresh one or the sicko fetish ones seem way better.

It's not that I don't think that farting isn't funny. In fact, I was nearly in tears trying not to laugh while my mom screamed at me to stop laughing because my dad's farts are just the best.

However, every joke I crack amongst my family doesn't include "Gee Dad, did you shit the couch?"

[Boozy]

Blas, I think the vast majority of your problems and life annoyances could be solved if you stopped hanging out with morons.

[Kaylyn]

Blas, I think the vast majority of your problems and life annoyances could be solved if you stopped hanging out with morons.

LOL, I was thinking the exact same thing about another one of Blas's posts yesterday, but I held my tongue.

[HYHYBT]

Ugh. Fart jokes are only funny when used sparingly (or perhaps in, pardon the word, but spurts, if you can get more than one person working off each other), and there's simply nothing funny about diarrhea, unless the sufferer is someone you hate.

[Andara Bledin]

Fart jokes are only funny when used sparingly (or perhaps in, pardon the word, butt spurts, if you can get more than one person working off each other)...

FTFY

Sorry, but I just couldn't resist. Not with the topic being what it is and all.

^-.-^

[guywithashovel]

A former coworker of mine caught me eating a bran muffin once and quipped, "We know where you'll be later."

A couple weeks ago, she wrote as her Facebook status: "I'm not too sure about people who eat Fiber One bars in public. Don't they realize that they're telling the whole world where they'll be in six hours?"

First of all, I often have a Fiber One bar for breakfast (they're filling), and I can say that eating one is definitely NOT a guarantee that you'll be "there" doing "that within six hours. Secondly, even if it was a guarantee that eating one would make you have to take a crap within a certain amount of time, so what? Seriously. If I drink a bottle of Pepsi in public, I'm kind of "telling the world" that I'll be taking a piss within an hour or two.

[HYHYBT]

That's worse than... well, no, not worse than "spray paint the sofa" but it's at least stupider. Everybody knows that everybody will be peeing sometime in the next several hours and pooping within at most a couple days regardless of whether they see you eat and drink or not. Yet somehow, millions of people every day eat and drink in public and are not looked down upon for announcing their bathroom habits.

[telecom_goddess]

Then there are people like my stupid bf who always announces when he's going to the bathroom. Ever here of "I'll be back in a minute" or god forbid not saying anything? That is private business and does not need to be told to me every fucking day.

I really don't think farting and pooping is funny. It's nasty and private and I don't want to hear about it ever.

[blas87]

In order to quit hanging out with morons, I'd have to get a new job. Because unfortunately, I have to spend 36-48 hours a week with morons, whether I want to or not.

Granted, I don't have to be friends with any of them, or talk with any of them outside of work.

In general, I think farting is funny, and it's alright to joke about poop. I have no problem telling horror stories of my previous jobs when I had to clean bathrooms.

I felt compelled to just lash out and bitch about it because I was sick for the umpteenth time having something simple as saying I'm going to clean my apartment translate to "Because you shit your couch eating burrito hotdish last night, right?"

I guess some people only have one type of area they know they can joke about and not have to worry about being creative. Maybe they worry that making jokes out of new concepts wouldn't be as funny? I'm not even sure.