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being reminded i am jobless

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  • being reminded i am jobless

    by my husband
    to the effect if you want to buy it get a fucking job. YES that was told to me today shopping while i wanted to get donuts, not for me but one for everyone which was four. it wasn't that i was told no donuts, but the way he told me it. and its not just today, its every so often i ask for something that i may want but its very much within reason or very very cheap.

    yes, the fact that i am 31 years old, have been out of work since 2008 if not sooner, may or may not be trainable, am willing to work for miniumum wage JUST TO have some funds coming in to put away and help pay for things, and or limited experience may have alot to do with it.

    The places I have worked have been grocery stores not just as a cashier, or secretary or contract as an admin assistant for a specific thing.
    The few times I was fired were my fault but not for lack of TRYING to not be fired.
    And not to mention i did put in THREE SEPERATE APPLICATIONS to husbands place of work only to have them EACH BE FUCKED UP in the computer system with the person in control of it playing "i dunno, I didn't do it" bullshit so its NOT like I am not trying.
    I can only apply so many places each day, call back, wait for a call or what have you to be turned down, told no, told not hiring (WHICH IS A LIE why tell me that if you have a SIGN IN YOUR WINDOW THAT SAYS YOU ARE) or whatever....so honestly. you want me to get a job, then help me out. otherwise STFU and stop reminding me, stop blowing money on your gods damned DVD's or better yet RETURN ALL the presents

    you want to play this game husband, then no presents this year since we are SOOOOO destitute. not just me, not just you, no presents for daughter or family or nothing. put your tree up and bite me. because if you are going to throw this in my face EVERY TIME then yes i will be angry and hurt.

    excuse me while i cry from anger and the ever present knowledge that i cannot do anything after having tried for months
    Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
    Yeah we're so over, over
    Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

  • #2
    This is no way to treat a spouse.
    "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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    • #3
      That's complete BS! I'd say that's borderline abusive behavior on his part.

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      • #4
        Um, if my husband ever said that to me I would punch him in the face. In public.

        Of course, my husband actually respects me.

        It's not your fault, you've been trying. What the hell else does he expect?

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        • #5
          I don't know. I asked him straightforward one day, so its about the money isn't it?
          H: no its not, its about you need to get a job.
          me: right, its not about needing money to feed your dvd habit so that i have to wait to get new clothes, not expensive, but just a tshirt and pants to replace the ones that fell apart. Daughter has to wait for bigger clothes cause alot of hers don't fit cause the latest set of dvds came out. yeah its SOOO not about the money.

          he was this way before. his dvd collection was and is his pride and joy. and i am not spinning it badly. he has dropped from buying many every two weeks to maybe two a month but still. any thing i add to the shopping list its for what is NEEDED and what daughter NEEDS. sometimes what i want but i ask first and if there is stuff left over. I left my job three years ago to avoid any miscarriages or complications. However that particular boss is an ass so i cannot return. (on another note i think they are smearing my name because that i left. excuse me for not wanting to have an accident on the job because you hire careless assholes)
          i've given up alot. and its not like there is nothing to do for myself beyond chores. i'm just tired of being reminded of what i gave up so daughter can get what she needs while i sit in depression. oh and don't forget my damn pill because heaven forbid i have an angry emotion ever at anyone
          Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
          Yeah we're so over, over
          Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

          Comment


          • #6
            and for the record hubs was not always an ass.
            i believe its the holidays and the FINAL realization that hey shit costs fucking money! and that yes to have christmas and give the people you want to give gifts COSTS MONEY.

            yes i am angry and hurt. sorry. this is the only place i feel i can rant and not worry about what to do because i have a place to stay, daughter will always be fed and have clothes and love and a bed to sleep in. i am not mistreated, but its not helpful that its december with many other problems
            Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
            Yeah we're so over, over
            Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

            Comment


            • #7
              Rant away, LexiaFira. What he said was uncool and unfair and totally uncalled for.

              ^-.-^
              Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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              • #8
                Unless we were deeply impoverished, I can't see my husband denying me something so insignificant as a donut.

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                • #9
                  Real dick move on his part. You shouldn't have to put up with that.

                  I have the same problem. I can't get past the damn interview stage because I get anxious. I know it's not my fault, but god damn it, it's frustrating as hell. I crave independance and I'm not getting that as long as I stay unemployed. I'm trying to do some volunteer work to get some decent references on my resume. Hopefully that will at least go somewhere.

                  While I have a supportive family, every now and then I get comments from others about how independant they were at age 18 or 19. Well maybe that's because there were fucking jobs back then! Plus I have other struggles that make things difficult for me. People really suck sometimes.

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                  • #10
                    Right, cause when you are unemployed and busting your ass to get a job, getting reminded of it puts you in such a better mood.

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                    • #11
                      I ended a friendship over being asked by someone if I were just pretending to look for a job in order to play video games all day. I don't know if I have ever been so offended before.

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                      • #12
                        I'm experiencing this as well... I'm apparently a lazy sloth because I haven't found a job yet...

                        Despite it being the time of year where lots of little kiddies (14-16) are running around now school is somewhat over, meaning there is a ton of cheap labour the businesses would rather take.
                        Despite that I have applied for more than 26 different jobs and positions, with less than a quarter actually getting back to me to inform me that I didn't get the job.
                        Despite that only yesterday I was out and about asking at different pubs and clubs if I could do some work experience, only to be told by the majority of them that they don't provide work experience.

                        What am I suppost to do? Grab the manager on duty by the throat and force them to hire me?

                        *sigh*

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Iseeyouthere View Post

                          What am I suppost to do? Grab the manager on duty by the throat and force them to hire me?

                          *sigh*
                          At least a felonious assault charge would score some free meals and a place to stay for awhile.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I think the idea mentioned earlier, volunteering to build up something for the resume is a good plan.

                            Plus, volunteer work can net you some references, which can be very valuable.

                            ^-.-^
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Rageaholic View Post
                              Real dick move on his part. You shouldn't have to put up with that.

                              I have the same problem. I can't get past the damn interview stage because I get anxious. I know it's not my fault, but god damn it, it's frustrating as hell. I crave independence and I'm not getting that as long as I stay unemployed.
                              omg rage you and me both! I do fairly well in the interview until i am asked tell me about yourself. then my mind goes blank and i fail. i had a friend coach me through that so many times. that part is the one time in the job that you will ever get personal. and i keep forgetting that. with all the training and knowledge of how to talk to people and mean it and be sincere which i am, i would think that my social anxiety would be less. yeah nope its worse
                              going to try and get some volunteer work under my belt as well, its just getting out to do so as i don't drive anymore.

                              for those that don't know i cannot see well out of my left eye and it is a danger now to try and drive that way especially at night. i can legally drive but i chose to get my license suspended due to that even though the vision tests say i am mostly ok. shrugs. my choice. the few wrecks i had were enough for me


                              Originally posted by Andara Bledin View Post
                              I think the idea mentioned earlier, volunteering to build up something for the resume is a good plan.

                              Plus, volunteer work can net you some references, which can be very valuable.

                              ^-.-^
                              it will add some experience for this state i hope. maybe that's part of the problem? BESIDES the bombing the interview for not being able to avoid the anxiety
                              Repeat after me, "I'm over it"
                              Yeah we're so over, over
                              Things I hate, that even after all this time...I still came back to the scene of the crime

                              Comment

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