Autism/Aspergers is just an excuse!

[Hyena Dandy]

This is a debate I see online all the time and I simply can't believe. People saying something like "90% of kids with autism just weren't raised right and nobody told 'em to knock it off!" or "Aspergers is a made-up diagnosis to make kids feel 'special' about themselves so they don't have to learn to talk to people."

That is something that... I seriously... Wat? I don't understand how people can think that. I mean, I could see with someone like me, since I have Aspergers, someone might think that the things that seem 'wrong' with me are just me not trying hard enough. Like the fact that I have paralyzing anxiety could be "Oh, get over it." I can understand at least THINKING that. But I just can't understand it when a kid is entirely able to function and people say that it's the parents fault.

That just seems... I just do not get it. But it makes me angry.

[Seifer]

It's because people who say those kinds of things have never actually met someone with Aspergers or severe autism. I've worked with a few kids in classrooms who had been diagnosed on different ends of the autism spectrum.

It's INCREDIBLY obvious when a child has severe Aspergers. I had one student who not only had social problems (he didn't have too many friends because he acted strange and didn't know how to hold a proper conversation), but also had issues with loud sounds/music and concentration. It was hard to get him to finish his work because if his mind was focused on something else, fuck you, that was it - he'd be off topic the entire day.

I've also been in a classroom with students who had such severe autism that they couldn't converse. They could make sounds and hand gestures, but were incapable of telling you what they wanted. (Since I'm jaded, I'm gonna go out on a not-so-long limb and say that the assholes mentioned in the original post would probably call the above kids "mentally retarded.")

[fireheart17]

It's because people who say those kinds of things have never actually met someone with Aspergers or severe autism. I've worked with a few kids in classrooms who had been diagnosed on different ends of the autism spectrum.

There was a girl in my Special Education class (it was a mixed group of pre and post-service teachers, she was the only girl in the class who was pre-service secondary) who has Aspergers. And I didn't even realise she had it until she mentioned it to me. (I knew her from school)
The only way you'd be able to tell at a glance that she has Aspergers is that she tends to talk in a monotone, doesn't look directly at the tutor at times (or at other people) and can be a bit awkward with conversations. She also doesn't get too involved in discussions, but then again, neither do I. At first glance you'd think she was just shy.

I'm going to play devil's advocate here on this and say that while I'm not discounting Autism/Aspergers entirely, the people who say those things are probably the ones who've met "parents" that self-diagnose their kids with autism or have heard stories about parents who self-diagnose their kids with autism. So I can SORT of see where they're coming from, but it really just shows a great degree of ignorance on the part of people who argue that the autism spectrum doesn't exist. Sit down, do your research and go and meet with your local autism group.

[siead_lietrathua]

playing devil here...
i think the internet realm has a skewed perspective on both conditions, at least in some of the community forums i've been in for nerd shit.
there are some people that are the steriotypical drama queens out there, antagonistic and self-promoting, that as soon as someone refutes their claims, they state to have low-spectrum aspergers. they took the name of a mental illness that only borderline applies to one of their behavious and use it as a sheild. all the while ruining people's perceptions of those that are actually mentally disabled.
and i mean they curse, yell, insult people, flame threads and then say "i can't help it i have aspergers!". from people that, meeting IRL, are social butterfiles and attention whores.
the people that genuinly have those conditions often call them out, telling them to knock their shit off.

all you/your/etc are generic.

[AdminAssistant]

Yeah, blame all the people who have self-diagnosed themselves/their children with Asperger's to excuse asshole behavior.

[Andara Bledin]

Considering that I know of doctors who don't believe in food allergies, it doesn't surprise me at all that there are idiots who don't believe in autism.

A little bit of it is that there are people out there who don't have any form of autism who claim they do as an excuse to act like assholes. But more of it is that such people are so incredibly narcissistic that the very idea that somebody could be so outside their accepted sphere of "reality" that they just deny it entirely, regardless of whatever evidence may be available to support it.

It's a form of elitist snobbery and xenophobia all wrapped up into one maddeningly obtuse, arrogant, smug package.

^-.-^

[Ginger Tea]

There is one guy on a forum I frequent, been banned atleast twice or dissapeared for prolonged periods would fire up shit storms over the smallest of things then started stating he had either ADD or ADHD and we should 'back off'.

Honestly, the net is a slow form of communication, you don't have to read a post that may have a slight against you and post a culster f-bomb response.
I among others told him to read the post, see what was said and to see if it was a slight or some constructive critisism to the project he was undertaking and if he felt the need to spout out a tirad of expletives, then to back away from the pc and not hit send.
He was not one for reading again when calmer and tried the patence of everyone who was there helping him along.

He also kept on saying "I'm ignoring you." when anyone he had a beef with posted a reply, really the 6year old going to an older sibling and saying "I'm not speaking to you." at any given moment?

At the time I had only encountered Aspergers in the book "The curious incident of the dog in the moonlight" or whatever and at the time he was stating ADD/ADHD and when he said what his symptoms were, someone who genuinly had similar traits said "Oh I can get away with swearing at my boss cos I have ADD?" he typed like he had tourrettes more than anything else and really kicked off for 'being mocked', where as it was a fellow ADD/ADHD person calling BS on his behaviour and on one of his other returns (under a new name (but same account and post history)) once the word Aspergers was meantioned he latched on to it and never let go.

He's not as bad now, mind you hardly anyone replies to his help threds as we have collectivly washed our hands with his attitude medical or not, so people rarely post anything that would rock the boat.

The people here with Aspergers and your posting styles (not raging tourrets-esque barrarges) gave me more pause to rethink his BS level, tbh I forget who has Aspergers unless posted about, as you all come across well in written form, IRL I have no idea, but none of you have ever looked even the slightest of fractions to what I've read from him.

Hell I only read his threads to see how quickly they turn into train wrecks.

[Rageaholic]

You see, when you're absolutely perfect like some people, you don't have to have an understanding of aspergers. You just assume that since everything comes easy for you (or you're such a hard worker), that anyone who struggles with problems are looking for excuses to slack off.

Never mind that if it came easy for them, they wouldn't need to "slack off" in the first place.

People suck sometimes.

[Ginger Tea]

I don't know if that is aimed at me as the previous poster or a post in general.

I honestly don't want to link to some of the threads as they did get nasty (on both sides), but it always boiled down to "I have this (which changed) so you should cut me some slack", slack would have been cut if his posts were not invariably abusive, sometimes needlessly at that.

pre posting edit:
Never mind, I missread the part about understanding aspergers and think this might be a general you post.
You're right though, I don't fully understand it and all I know I learnt from that book "the curious incident" and even then I have forgotten more about that book, but when people who post normally and then state they have Aspergers, then someone who posts like he does, well flags are raised.

When it comes to written communication, I have not seen anyone show any 'tells' and I will forget very soon who said they had Aspergers as tbh it doesn't come across as something that is conveyed within text just as much as I would not remember who is in a wheelchair behind another screen as it becomes invisible and irrelevent.

Outside face to face, yes I might pick up on things and remember who has what, but honestly I am taking all of you at face value as having 'x' as you are not acting like the stereotypical group who might have nothing wrong but state they have.

TLDR the more its brought up and used as a crutch the less I am inclined to belive when bad behaviour online is concerned and I have not to my knowlege seen that here or at CS.

[Jaden]

I certainly believe that autism and aspergers are real things, and should be diagnosed and dealt with, and I have sympathy for anybody who has them. However, as other people have mentioned, the internet has sort of skewed our perceptions of what aspergers actually is. Tons of awkward teenagers post self-diagnose themselves with aspergers as a way to explain why they're weird and immature, and take a weird sort of pride in it, and that offends me, since I think it's offensive to those who actually have aspergers to act like it's some sort of privilege. It's not. People out there who actually need help are essentially being mocked by awkward and self-conscious 17-year-olds posting videos on youtube of him being stupid as hell, and then telling people to back off because he diagnosed himself with aspergers.

[Andara Bledin]

I honestly don't want to link to some of the threads as they did get nasty (on both sides), but it always boiled down to "I have this (which changed) so you should cut me some slack", slack would have been cut if his posts were not invariably abusive, sometimes needlessly at that.

My boss used to have a colleague with a notable problem with Aspergers.

While much of the time, she could operate almost normally, there were things with which she had major issues, and most of that was related to the most notable of her symptoms; she could only think in straight lines, which is a common expression of Aspergers, and hers was quite strong.

She used to sell on eBay, and the comments that she left for others were rude, obnoxious, and often skirted the line to profane. Even her "positive" comments were often abusive. Her ability to communicate civilly via text was almost non-existent. Unfortunately, she apparently "restarted" her eBay account, so I cannot share the chaos that was her Feedback profile. However, it was obvious, based on a comprehensive look at the entirety, that she honestly and truly did not understand why her frequent outbursts would be considered unacceptable.

Unfortunately, most people with real issues don't tend to advertise them, and most people who advertise, don't tend to have real issues.

^-.-^

[guywithashovel]

It's probably a lot like the issues with ADD and ADHD. Just like autism and aspergers, those are both real disorders, but a handful of people have used self-diagnoses as a way to get special treatment. That's not to excuse asshole behavior, but just to give it some context.

Another thing that's annoying is when people will say "Gee, when I was in school I didn't know of a single kid who had aspergers/ADHD/food allergy/etc., and now everyone has one!" Well, no, not everyone has it, and maybe you notice it more now because we now know more about it and can spot it more easily. Or maybe there is some factor that is causing whatever disorder to occur more often. Food allergies happen more often now, and there are some natural explanations for why (possible explanations, actually).

[bara]

Unfortunately, most people with real issues don't tend to advertise them, and most people who advertise, don't tend to have real issues.

^-.-^

its my experience that people who actually have these issues want to be treated as normal as possible and not use their condition as a crutch. So it makes since they don't tell a lot of people.

[NorthernZel]

Being a mother of a boy within the Spectrum, I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents:

As I see it, the common assumption is caused by several factors:

Firstly, there is a huge increase in ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) diagnoses lately, mainly due to the fact that Autism symptoms are percepted and diagnosed at an earlier stage than, say, 10-15 years ago. Nowadays it is possible to diagnose a child with ASD at 18 months of age, if not earlier. So some may see it as a "fad" like the ADD diagnoses were labeled some years ago (if not still).

Also, some may still think of the theories that even Dr. Hans Asperger (after whom this diagnosis is named) made back in the '40s re: "fridge mothers" - that Asperger's and other syndroms on the Spectrum are caused by negligent upbringing.

Last home-brewed theory from me is the following: The Autism Spectrum is called a "spectrum" because it is HUGE, and therefore maybe even inexplicable to people who don't know about the Spectrum. It is impossible to say to someone: "well, you CLAIM that your child has Autism/Aspergers/other but MY child has Autism/Aspergers/other too and he/she doesn't behave like THAT, so there!" because the symptoms (and therefore the behaviour) can vary.
(Talking from experience here - just been with Lil Zel visiting the special school he'll attend after summer, his classmates are ALL OVER the Spectrum ranging from the almost non-verbal to those that bounce off the walls)

That being said, there MAY be some folks that (rightly or not) use a (self-)diagnosis as a "blanket excuse" for everything they say, do and write, but I think it suits to all syndroms wherein behaviour and/or communication skills are affected. If it isn't ASD that is used as an excuse, perhaps it's ADD, bipolar disorder or some other things.

[HYHYBT]

I'd think a lot of it would be the fuzzy edge of such diagnoses. What solid, easily-recognizable difference is there between someone who is just barely within Asperger's (or ADD, for that matter) and someone who just barely isn't?