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Okay, some of you on CS might think this is in reaction to and aimed at a specific thread over there, when it's really not. That thread just reminded me of something that happened not too long back, in which I was told flat to my face, "You just couldn't understand what it's like!"
This was said by a woman who was obese, and she said it just because I was thin.
Let me just let out what I know;
I know what it's like to be the kind of thin where people think the only way for me to be that thin is to have some kind of eating disorder.
I know what it's like for my doctor to go to my parents and tell them that he knows I'm bulimic (this was when I was still a minor, so he could do that.) I am lucky enough to have parents that laughed right in his face at the idea.
I know what it's like to have the school nurse and school counselor want to constantly be in my business, and to tell all the teachers to keep an eye on what I eat and when I go to the bathroom. Teachers on bathroom duty were to eavesdrop on me to make sure I wasn't purging.
I know what it's like to have the parents of my friends suspicious of me, and try to force me to eat more food whenever I'm there, even if I politely decline. I eat small bits all throughout the day, I will literally get sick when I try to eat what other people might consider "a full meal" - which just proves that I'm bulimic right? I obviously forced myself to throw up what is a "normal" meal.
I know what it's like to have a friend's mother throw me out of their house at 2am because "I'm a horrible influence on her daughter." This was after I forced myself to each twice as much as I usually do at dinner, and then politely refused a third helping of everything. If my friend's father had not been just arriving home I would've had to walk, in January, back to my own house, because this was before I had a cellphone.
I know what it's like to be in constant pain because I literally did not have enough cushioning on my body to be able to even sit in a chair unless it was so cushioned it was boarding on obscene.
"You don't know what it's like when everyone thinks there is something wrong with you for just being a certain body type!"
"You don't know what it's like when everyone thinks you're pathetic over something you can't control."
"It's easy for you! You just have to eat more!" <- Which is exactly like telling a fat person "It's easy! Just don't eat as much!"
It was so painful to hear my friends, who were not overweight, lament over how they wished they were as thin as I was. No. They don't. Everyone thinks that the guys want the super model stick figures, but they don't. Guys think girls as thin as I was are disgusting to look at. "They're skeletons with skin!"
"But you get to wear all those pretty, tight fitting clothes they design for you!" No. I didn't. Because that only emphasized what everyone judged me on. I wore baggy clothing to hide how thin I was because I hated the judgmental looks from teachers and the school nurse. Whispers in the hall way and during class about how I was mental, broken, and there was just something wrong with me. It wasn't like it is now. Bulimia wasn't understood to be a mental condition that needs to be treated, but instead was thought of me being vain.
I hated that.
I hated having everyone staring at me as I eat, and often I could hear people betting on how long it would take before I threw it back up to stay as a sick-stick.
But of course... because I was thin everyone thought I was beautiful and never treated me like shit based solely on my body type. This all happened and I wasn't even bulimic. The only reason my parents laughed in my doctor's face was because they saw me eat and knew for a fact that I hated throwing up so much that I would never do it on purpose.
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This is something I can't stand. (Not just the specific incident, but what it represents.) Yes, you've had it hard. That doesn't automatically mean that everyone else has had it sooooo damn easy.
Just because that boy might be rich doesn't mean he's had an easy or happy life.
Just because that girl is pretty doesn't mean she's beloved by all the guys and gets everything she wants.
Just because that child has both his parents doesn't mean he's had any better of a life than you had with only a single parent.
Just because someone has what you want doesn't mean it's impossible they've had to deal with what you had to deal with, and therefore it's impossible for them to "know what it's like."
Bah. I'm done now.
This was said by a woman who was obese, and she said it just because I was thin.
Let me just let out what I know;
I know what it's like to be the kind of thin where people think the only way for me to be that thin is to have some kind of eating disorder.
I know what it's like for my doctor to go to my parents and tell them that he knows I'm bulimic (this was when I was still a minor, so he could do that.) I am lucky enough to have parents that laughed right in his face at the idea.
I know what it's like to have the school nurse and school counselor want to constantly be in my business, and to tell all the teachers to keep an eye on what I eat and when I go to the bathroom. Teachers on bathroom duty were to eavesdrop on me to make sure I wasn't purging.
I know what it's like to have the parents of my friends suspicious of me, and try to force me to eat more food whenever I'm there, even if I politely decline. I eat small bits all throughout the day, I will literally get sick when I try to eat what other people might consider "a full meal" - which just proves that I'm bulimic right? I obviously forced myself to throw up what is a "normal" meal.
I know what it's like to have a friend's mother throw me out of their house at 2am because "I'm a horrible influence on her daughter." This was after I forced myself to each twice as much as I usually do at dinner, and then politely refused a third helping of everything. If my friend's father had not been just arriving home I would've had to walk, in January, back to my own house, because this was before I had a cellphone.
I know what it's like to be in constant pain because I literally did not have enough cushioning on my body to be able to even sit in a chair unless it was so cushioned it was boarding on obscene.
"You don't know what it's like when everyone thinks there is something wrong with you for just being a certain body type!"
"You don't know what it's like when everyone thinks you're pathetic over something you can't control."
"It's easy for you! You just have to eat more!" <- Which is exactly like telling a fat person "It's easy! Just don't eat as much!"
It was so painful to hear my friends, who were not overweight, lament over how they wished they were as thin as I was. No. They don't. Everyone thinks that the guys want the super model stick figures, but they don't. Guys think girls as thin as I was are disgusting to look at. "They're skeletons with skin!"
"But you get to wear all those pretty, tight fitting clothes they design for you!" No. I didn't. Because that only emphasized what everyone judged me on. I wore baggy clothing to hide how thin I was because I hated the judgmental looks from teachers and the school nurse. Whispers in the hall way and during class about how I was mental, broken, and there was just something wrong with me. It wasn't like it is now. Bulimia wasn't understood to be a mental condition that needs to be treated, but instead was thought of me being vain.
I hated that.
I hated having everyone staring at me as I eat, and often I could hear people betting on how long it would take before I threw it back up to stay as a sick-stick.
But of course... because I was thin everyone thought I was beautiful and never treated me like shit based solely on my body type. This all happened and I wasn't even bulimic. The only reason my parents laughed in my doctor's face was because they saw me eat and knew for a fact that I hated throwing up so much that I would never do it on purpose.
------------
This is something I can't stand. (Not just the specific incident, but what it represents.) Yes, you've had it hard. That doesn't automatically mean that everyone else has had it sooooo damn easy.
Just because that boy might be rich doesn't mean he's had an easy or happy life.
Just because that girl is pretty doesn't mean she's beloved by all the guys and gets everything she wants.
Just because that child has both his parents doesn't mean he's had any better of a life than you had with only a single parent.
Just because someone has what you want doesn't mean it's impossible they've had to deal with what you had to deal with, and therefore it's impossible for them to "know what it's like."
Bah. I'm done now.
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