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Or a "good times" friend.
My best friend, D, is turning into this. And I'm kinda at the end of my rope.
She's been involved in all of her friends' weddings as a bridesmaid or maid of honor/best man (MOH at mine; she'll be the best man at a wedding this June), and she's supposed to be the godmother of my child whenever we do the baptism.
As long as we're talking about the planning of these life events, she's good.
When we're not...well...
I just talked to her voice-to-voice for the first time in months (the last time we actually chatted was when I got off bed rest). Mostly, due to schedules, we chat online. That's mostly stopped.
Why? Because I wasn't as supportive as she wanted me to be after a bad day at work (which was my bad and I've apologized for) but mostly because she "doesn't know how to handle" Kabe's and my lack of enthusiasm at becoming parents. Which mostly boils down to I don't want my entire conversational life to revolve around the baby. It's already doing that at work; I don't need it 24/7 from friends too.
I tell her that...and don't hear from her again. But I see her making plans to visit her friends that are getting married in June who are coming in from Columbus.
So call her today to invite her to come out with Kabe, myself, and one of his friends to a b-day watching of Iron Man 3. Nope, she's going to Columbus to visit the friends who live there...before their wedding in June.
So we start chatting and I mention how our house search is going. She mentions a house that's for sale near her, promising to give me information. That's great, but we have a house we found that's pretty good price, and frankly, I'm rather excited about. I may not be ready for all of these upcoming life changes, but I'm excited about this house.
She then proceeds to tell me she's worried about us buying over renting because we're not having luck with the job searches. And we'll be tied into an investment if we have to move and...
Basically, she has this idea that her friends in Columbus have this awesome life (the guy got really lucky in getting a job for a car company), and she'll have one too if she moves there. Which means everybody will have better luck if they move to Columbus, no matter what skills or lack thereof they have. Or, you know, different life issues. And she pretty much hung up after I got done explaining why buying was a better option for us at the current time (a two bed room 800 sq. ft. house or apartment goes for $5-600 before utilities. And we wouldn't necessarily be able to keep our dog. If we can get into a loan assistance program we'd be looking at $5-600 with utilities).
What really kills me is I listen to her rant about how she's living with her mother (we've offered to share living spaces; she never has enough money); her problems with school and work; her lacking love life; family issues; and I do try to be as comforting as I can. I try to give advice when I can...but that usually boils down to "your life choices aren't mine so I'm not listening", and yet when I have an issue, she doesn't want to hear about it.
I need to rant about the fact mortgages are ridiculous or just the banks are ridiculous? How's the baby.
Job search is horrid and my work keeps passing me over for promotion? How's the baby.
Hey, want to come over? Can't have work/school/just tired. What about this weekend? Oh, I'm catching up on homework so I can go to Columbus next week or I'm going to Columbus this week.
Tldr; my best friend only wants to deal with the things that are happy in our lives and fits into what she views as her life plan. And I'm getting tired of it and tired of feeling like I'm not important to her.
My best friend, D, is turning into this. And I'm kinda at the end of my rope.
She's been involved in all of her friends' weddings as a bridesmaid or maid of honor/best man (MOH at mine; she'll be the best man at a wedding this June), and she's supposed to be the godmother of my child whenever we do the baptism.
As long as we're talking about the planning of these life events, she's good.
When we're not...well...
I just talked to her voice-to-voice for the first time in months (the last time we actually chatted was when I got off bed rest). Mostly, due to schedules, we chat online. That's mostly stopped.
Why? Because I wasn't as supportive as she wanted me to be after a bad day at work (which was my bad and I've apologized for) but mostly because she "doesn't know how to handle" Kabe's and my lack of enthusiasm at becoming parents. Which mostly boils down to I don't want my entire conversational life to revolve around the baby. It's already doing that at work; I don't need it 24/7 from friends too.
I tell her that...and don't hear from her again. But I see her making plans to visit her friends that are getting married in June who are coming in from Columbus.
So call her today to invite her to come out with Kabe, myself, and one of his friends to a b-day watching of Iron Man 3. Nope, she's going to Columbus to visit the friends who live there...before their wedding in June.
So we start chatting and I mention how our house search is going. She mentions a house that's for sale near her, promising to give me information. That's great, but we have a house we found that's pretty good price, and frankly, I'm rather excited about. I may not be ready for all of these upcoming life changes, but I'm excited about this house.
She then proceeds to tell me she's worried about us buying over renting because we're not having luck with the job searches. And we'll be tied into an investment if we have to move and...
Basically, she has this idea that her friends in Columbus have this awesome life (the guy got really lucky in getting a job for a car company), and she'll have one too if she moves there. Which means everybody will have better luck if they move to Columbus, no matter what skills or lack thereof they have. Or, you know, different life issues. And she pretty much hung up after I got done explaining why buying was a better option for us at the current time (a two bed room 800 sq. ft. house or apartment goes for $5-600 before utilities. And we wouldn't necessarily be able to keep our dog. If we can get into a loan assistance program we'd be looking at $5-600 with utilities).
What really kills me is I listen to her rant about how she's living with her mother (we've offered to share living spaces; she never has enough money); her problems with school and work; her lacking love life; family issues; and I do try to be as comforting as I can. I try to give advice when I can...but that usually boils down to "your life choices aren't mine so I'm not listening", and yet when I have an issue, she doesn't want to hear about it.
I need to rant about the fact mortgages are ridiculous or just the banks are ridiculous? How's the baby.
Job search is horrid and my work keeps passing me over for promotion? How's the baby.
Hey, want to come over? Can't have work/school/just tired. What about this weekend? Oh, I'm catching up on homework so I can go to Columbus next week or I'm going to Columbus this week.
Tldr; my best friend only wants to deal with the things that are happy in our lives and fits into what she views as her life plan. And I'm getting tired of it and tired of feeling like I'm not important to her.
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