Long Distance Relationships (rant)

[siead_lietrathua]

Ok, maybe it's the barely-any-sleep talking after being up all night, but sometimes being in a long distance relationship sucks soooo much!
add in the polyamory*, and it's so hard to touch base with someone between the primary family stuff, long work days (16h+ for him), several hour time zone difference, opposite-coast unaffordable distance, insane life shit! (ok, in the end, totally worth it. but still a lot of heartache at times)

i know, i'm ranting, but gorram it after almost 3 years it's startin to drive me bonkers! anyone else stuck in the LDR-limbo?

*please don't derail into a pro or con poly thread, only tossing that in since it's relevant in our situation

[Greenday]

My girlfriends lives about an hour northwest of Toronto in Canada. I live at the shore in New Jersey. It's about a ten hour drive so we only get to see each other once every few months. Crossing the border can be a hassle. Too expensive to fly that short a distance. My bosses never let me take off.

On the bright side, she's starting law school soon in Rhode Island which is closer.

On the down side, I'm still looking for jobs in my field and it's slim pickings. Only job I've been able to apply for lately is in South Carolina.

[Kheldarson]

Kabe and I were. I graduated college and had to move back home in 2008. We didn't marry until 2011.

It kinda sucked. But Skype helped. As did as regular visits as we could schedule them.

[siead_lietrathua]

i do like skype. i think the part that has me so argle is because both hubs and i are fairly low on the income scale, and my boyfriend's got his primaries to care for, so the visiting thing isn't really financially feasable. sad panda, etc.

[LewisLegion]

My girl is in Australia. I'm in Western Washington.

I am totally with you on the LDR suck. We Skype when we can but the time/day difference makes that difficult. We talk over IM every day...pretty much constantly during the hours we're both awake.

There are times it is extremely difficult emotionally, but she's worth it.

[HYHYBT]

That's something important not to forget. Be glad you have someone worth putting up with having the Pacific Ocean between you.

[siead_lietrathua]

heh, it's totally not the relationships that suck, just the distance! c'mon scientists, get them teleporters working!

[RedRoseSpiral]

I'm in Missouri and my boyfriend is in Australia (Victoria). We've been together going on 5 years and it's going on 4 since we've been on the same continent. I'm actually waiting for him to get home from his last exam for the semester right now.

The distance does blow, but it's still so worth it. I'll be joining him when he's out of uni, and I can't wait.

[Eisa]

I was. I lived in Idaho, my girlfriend lived in Virginia. It wasn't until March I finally got to move here, and then by the 13th, we were married.

Long distance relationships blow, though.

[siead_lietrathua]

i'm glad to see so many happy endings/ plans for them
slightly envious too, since we can't up and visit, or move to be nearer. :/ ah well.

[Kheldarson]

Communication, communication, communication.

It'll survive if you communicate.

Kabe and I broke up for a couple of months because we let our communication deteriorate. We were able to patch it up and make it stronger after we got back to campus.

If you want it to work, you've got to talk. And a bit more specifically than you think. We rely on body language a lot more than we think.

[bex1218]

Ok, it sucks and I live in the same time zone as her. And it sucks more cause I just can't deal with talking on the phone that often, so we text and talk on a group on fb. We met Valentine's day week cause of help from my grandmother. She gave me money to go see her. It was amazing and we felt so comfortable right away. I miss being face to face with her.

[siead_lietrathua]

Communication, communication, communication...

oh yeah, i know. i'm just venting one of the reasons we've been together so long is we don't do the passive-aggressive games when irked and just talk it out. same with the primary, we're all those hippy communicative types. lol.

@bex i hope you get to visit again soon. if you both have cams+ mics, totally get skype if you can. it's not quite the same but i know it makes my week if i get to see/ hear my LDR partner even once.

[bex1218]

We Skype way less than calling. Its a phobia (well, borderline) of mine. We are still pulling through. She understands completely.

[Andara Bledin]

I've done just voice over Skype. You don't have to video if you don't feel like it. And you can chat while on the call, too. It's pretty awesome.