No Remorse, No Guilt, No Shame

[blas87]

I'm not talking extreme things like killing, raping, etc etc, things to that magnitude.

Also, I'm also not trying to seem against people moving on from mistakes or moving on with life or trying to get/act/be better.

HOWEVER...

There's a certain type of person that I just want to see handed an even worse deck of cards that they dealt to others. Maybe it's wrong I feel that way. I don't really care. As far as I'm concerned, I'm only wishing and hoping, not conjuring or plotting, and certainly never acting upon it....and I don't go about destroying people like they do.

People who cheated/lied about something in a relationship, and feel they did nothing wrong. Now, I'm not saying just anyone who cheated. I mean a person who blatantly had NO respect or care to be honest to another person, and just did their own thing, and even if they *fake* apologize, they think they did nothing wrong, they might even go as far as to blame you or something about you, they walk around with their head held high smiling at those they hurt or making comments joking about the situation or bragging about how much they made you hate them.

People who steal things like family heirlooms, money, valuables.....and deny doing it despite there being proof that they did, won't apologize, won't even attempt to make anything wrong, once again, feeling they did nothing wrong.

[cindybubbles]

Reminds me of this episode of Adventure Time: http://adventuretime.wikia.com/wiki/Memory_of_a_Memory

[SPOILERS]The boyfriend here was a big jerk. He sold Marceline's prized teddy bear without her permission, then tricks Finn and Jake into stealing it for him. Good thing he gets curbstomped by all three of them in the end![/SPOILERS]

[Seshat]

People who grossly and gratuitously mishandle a family members' disability; especially if they do so to the point of mocking or refuting an obvious problem.

[Racket_Man]

I kind of got to see this happen in real life.

My Ex lied to me , deceived me, cheated on me and essensally stole from me during the last years of our so called marriage.

We both moved on BUT she was in worse circumstances after she left me. Her only income was SS Disability and she had NO savings. The guy she started going out with and eventually married (and is now considering divorcing) was in no better financial OR physical/medical condition than she was. During the interviening years both of their conditions (physical/medical and financial) went down the tubes big time.

I still have yet to determine what was the "truth" and what was fabrication during the last years of the "marriage". Meaning: Did we actually have a marriage or was all those 20 years a sham. Was the tall tale she wove have any grain of truth to it? Was I just a placeholder?

Has she really apologized for the nasty things she willingly did????

[telecom_goddess]

Ok I have a doozy. First off I have a girlfriend as of July 19 Now here's where it gets interesting.

She's a second personality in a male body that she shares with what she calls her brother. I do not know him, my relationship is with her. Now the male in this duo is married. With a child. To one hell of a bitchy wife. These are examples of what goes on:

The wife refuses to acknowledge my girlfriend's existence in the first place. And when she does do something it's to belittle her, turn her photos away so you can't see them, and make her feel unloved and unwanted. And by doing all that she is not supporting the male half, which is her husband. Who yes has a condition technically although I don't consider my gf to be a disorder of any sort.

The child in this setup can't stand her own mother. She calls her annoying, and a bitch, and refuses to get help with homework from her because she ends up making the girl feel stupid and incapable.

The male half isn't "out" very much anymore. He basically comes out to deal with household shit and yard work and that's it. Otherwise he "sleeps" while my gf is out in the body.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a toxic situation? I'd love to get her out of that place but her brother won't do it, even though he's not out very much so it's not like he likes the wife all that much either. Why not just leave?

[Aethian]

Am I the only one who thinks this is a toxic situation? I'd love to get her out of that place but her brother won't do it, even though he's not out very much so it's not like he likes the wife all that much either. Why not just leave?

First question, no.

Second question, they both stay for the daughter. If the daughter had a safe place to call home and have her things the sister and brother would have peace of mind to leave the toxic situation.

[telecom_goddess]

First question, no.

Second question, they both stay for the daughter. If the daughter had a safe place to call home and have her things the sister and brother would have peace of mind to leave the toxic situation.

My goal is to provide that safe place. Now the daughter is a junior in high school so she'll be out in college or somewhere in a couple of years anyway. But in the meantime I would like to provide that safe home. It's just a matter of the brother realizing he has to leave.

[Nekojin]

Okay, now I'm thoroughly confused. You're talking about someone with split personalities, and you're saying that the "main" personality (male personality in a male body, I'm assuming that the female personality is a fragment, not the original) is going to have to leave?

How does that even work?

[Andara Bledin]

Okay, now I'm thoroughly confused. You're talking about someone with split personalities, and you're saying that the "main" personality (male personality in a male body, I'm assuming that the female personality is a fragment, not the original) is going to have to leave?

How does that even work?

What's being said is that the environment they're in is toxic. The male personality, rather than dealing with it mostly just does his thing, then retreats, leaving the female personality in control.

What they need to leave, is the wife. He's not there enough to really have to deal with her, but he's the one holding the keys. So because he just hibernates, that leaves the female side and the daughter open to the wife's abuse, which neither of them have any power to escape without him initiating the action.

[telecom_goddess]

PERFECT!! you got it.

What's being said is that the environment they're in is toxic. The male personality, rather than dealing with it mostly just does his thing, then retreats, leaving the female personality in control.

What they need to leave, is the wife. He's not there enough to really have to deal with her, but he's the one holding the keys. So because he just hibernates, that leaves the female side and the daughter open to the wife's abuse, which neither of them have any power to escape without him initiating the action.

[Nekojin]

Well, then, legally speaking, you're the "other woman" - regardless of any discussion of whether multiple personalities are real (I'm willing to share my thoughts on it, but I think that'd be considerably off-topic), they're not legally-recognized for situations like this. As far as the law is concerned, you're "the other woman" intruding on a married couple. And while adultery isn't considered a crime in most jurisdictions any more (in other words, police won't come arrest you for sleeping with him, if you have), you'll still be brought up as a cause for divorce.

There are problems here, big ones, and I don't think you're going to be able to affect changes from the outside. You are, and will continue to be, an outsider in this situation.

[Boozy]

So because he just hibernates, that leaves the female side and the daughter open to the wife's abuse, which neither of them have any power to escape without him initiating the action.

How convenient.

Here is someone cheating on their wife, and somehow managing to avoid responsibility to either the wife or the mistress by claiming that they are not in control of the choices they are making.

[Ree]

Am I the only one who thinks this is a toxic situation?

No.

You aren't.

[the_std]

How convenient.

I have to agree with Boozy here. While I am no stranger to relationships with people who are different to an extreme degree (mental disorders, gender fluidity, etc), I have to wonder if you're being taken advantage of in this situation. I would be very cautious in proceeding, as it is a very toxic, very strange situation and you have almost no protections whatsoever; as Nekojin pointed out, in this relationship, you have no legal ground.

Actually, thinking about it, I might react similarly to the wife in this situation. Put yourself in her shoes. The man she married is now claiming to be two separate people, and the one she married has become withdrawn and not very present in the relationship. In his place is now a stranger who has no love or desire for a relationship with her, yet walks and talks and functions with his body - a constant reminder of the husband she doesn't seem to have anymore.

While I understand that multiple personality disorder is no walk in the park for the person suffering from it, you cannot entirely blame the wife for this situation. That is, if he/she is telling you the truth.

Be wary. If it were me, I'd remove myself from the situation until they divorced/came to an agreement. It sounds like it could only caused harm, not actually help anyone, to have you involved.

[Andara Bledin]

Considering that there is a minor child involved, I would absolutely and without reservation say to stay away.

I know too many people whose lives have been ruined or nearly so because the other parent decided to make claims of inappropriateness involving said minor child.