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We don't know when you're leaving

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  • We don't know when you're leaving

    Visiting my parent's house has taken on a very frustrating element for me in the last year. My brother and father both work as on call security agents, so they can be called to work at anytime. Also, the family has been very low on money in the past year due to various factors. This means that whenever I come home to visit the point at which I can return home to my apartment is always a giant question mark. I might be told by both my parents that I have to stay with them until Next Thursday because that is when my brother and father get paid, then wake up the next morning and be told to be ready to leave that afternoon. Or I am told I am leaving the next day, and find out the following morning they will be keeping me for We don't know how long.

    I understand why this happens. We are all low on funds, so getting enough gas money to have my brother drive all the way to the city and back is tough. Plus, he and dad could get called into work, which means I have to wait to leave, or he has to make sure he is home sooner. But it is ALWAYS a giant question mark. On my current visit home, I spent a week of my visit just asking when I am leaving. I'm not in a rush to go, but I don't want to do all my laundry and pack everything up only to find out that I'm staying for another week. Up until yesterday the tentative plan was for me to leave today, but due to a large bill coming up yesterday that came into question. However, there was no firm decision that I was WAS NOT leaving today, they just weren't sure when I would leave. Even as late as this afternoon my mother was saying I should leave today.

    As of right now I could leave any time between tomorrow, or a week from tomorrow. If it was a rare occurrence, it would bother me. But it's honestly Every, Single time I'm home. If I have somewhere particular to be back in the city, then there is a good chance I will be back in time for that. But even then, it's not a promise. Most of time time I visit home it's for Hoildays, or because I have an appointment with one of my doctors here, so I need to come home.

    I just wish for once I would visit home, and I would not definitively when I was leaving. It's really hard to make plans both here and back in the city when I don't know if a three week trip to my parent's house is going to be 2.5 weeks or a month. This morning my brother pointed out to my mother that even if everything was lined up for me to leave today, we wouldn't be going because no one told him that today was the day I was leaving so he wasn't prepared to take me anyway. I can't take the bus because part of the purpose of my visits is to collect things from my parents to bring back to my home, plus I'm travelling with my cat. (Can't leave the cat alone for several weeks, that's cruel) So I am totally at the mercy of their whims and schedule. Which I would be fine with, if I knew when I could leave.

    The visits are spent with me either feeling like I'm being kicked out or trapped, and my family complaining that I want to get away from them. I just needed to vent.

  • #2
    Are you stuck there because they're your transportation there and back? How far is the drive? Can anyone else come and get you?
    Some People Are Alive Only Because It's Illegal To Kill Them.

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    • #3
      I'd be unlikely to visit at all under those conditions, and stay home until I had my own transportation. But family is family...
      "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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      • #4
        Originally posted by crashhelmet View Post
        Are you stuck there because they're your transportation there and back? How far is the drive? Can anyone else come and get you?
        None of my friends who live in the city have vehicles, and coming to the island would be a huge imposition if they did. It's about 300km(190 miles) from my house to the city. Plus, like I said, I use my trips home to collect stuff. So I'm travelling with suitcase, cat, bags of food my parents gave me, two or three garbage bags of laundry, and two or three boxes of stuff. (Plates, books, lamps, makeup, soap etc. Just stuff I found and need)

        Plus the drive up and back is a way for my to hang out with my brother. And he tends to buy me stuff when we get back to the city. (Groceries and small gifts)

        Originally posted by HYHYBT View Post
        I'd be unlikely to visit at all under those conditions, and stay home until I had my own transportation. But family is family...
        Well this visit, for example, was so I could get dental work done. My dentist is here, and my father is the one who pays for it. I'm too transient right now to get a dentist or optometrist in the city, since it's only a once or twice a year visit and I don't know how long I'll be there.

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        • #5
          Got it. And it's good to hear reasons *to* go as well as not to.
          "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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