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  • Imaginary Status Update

    I had to delete a ton of my family members off of facebook recently. My aunt has a tendency to use her daughters' and grandchildren's facebook profiles to facebook stalk the family. No big deal, I don't post anything scandalous. I tend to avoid posting big news on facebook, preferring to just tell people personally. And my friends don't post many pictures of me, and pretty much zero of me out partying. My facebook page is pretty clean. Just game requests, silly drawings, and comments on the news. My mom gets really upset about how critical the family is of her, and by extension us, so I try to keep out of their focus as best as possible.

    Anyway, about two months ago, I came home for a few weeks to visit, celebrate my birthday, and have doctors appointments. I posted "Home for a few weeks. Message me if you want to hang out," as my status. Everything was fine for a few days until my mom came to confront me about posting "UGH! Stuck in {home}. This sucks, get me out of here." or the like on my facebook page. She reminded me that my aunt is watching my facebook page, and I need to be careful what I posted. Except, as I showed her, I hadn't posted that. I just got really pissed off about the whole thing. I mean, it's one thing to have to censor myself because my family (including little cousins) can see what I post, but how am I supposed to protect myself against made up stuff? A bunch of people in my family who don't have facebook confronted me on the status because my aunt saw it and reported it to them.

    So I deleted all the people I know she was using to look at my profile, and then set privacy to friends only. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so I'm wondering how many people are going to confront me about deleting them. But I can't have them on anymore. This is exactly the reason why if i get into a relationship I can't make it online official.

  • #2
    Me, personally, I've never given a fuck about what people think about me or what is on my facebook.

    I had a cousin's husband get pissy about an article I posted about the Catholic church and contraception. I made the comment about church leaders needing to poke their noses up the robes of their priests and not women's skirts. He bitched to several family members, blowing it out of proportions, etc. I simply told them and him if they didn't like what I post to delete me from their friend's list. None of them did. I have a feeling they keep me around on their lists to have something to rage about. I don't care. I'll say and post what I like.

    If anyone says anything to you today, tell them the truth. It may hurt feelings, but that's life and they'll get over it. You can't make everyone happy, so you may as well try to make yourself happy since that is something you have control over.

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    • #3
      For the most part, I don't give a crap about what I post on Facebook. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it. That's not to say that I'm not careful. Since my grandmother and 93-year-old aunt are on my friends list, along with a friend's MG-owning daughter (I added her so she could see what I'm up to with my car), I try to censor myself. Otherwise, I post what I want. Other people can get bent.

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      • #4
        I typically don't care what I post. My grandmother was worried her clients would see what I posted cause she could see it. Of course I didn't tell her that facebook does not work that way, especially when it is on maximum privacy. And it is only becuase some stuff (from other pages) I post has some cursing. Or when I am in a slight bad mood. I just didn't want to argue about it.

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        • #5
          I don't usually post a whole lot on Facebook, other than some random status updates and pictures, and I don't really care what people think about what I post either. But, I have some privacy filters that I sometimes use when I don't want certain people to see certain things. For example, some things I just don't want to share with my mom for whatever reason, so I have a privacy filter that she and some other family members and family friends are excluded from being able to see. It means I don't have to completely get rid of anyone, but they won't see everything either.

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          • #6
            I'm in the fortunate position where my family knows me or is too distant to care, and my work couldn't give a rat's ass so long as I show up close to on time and do my job.

            That said, I still don't post everything to Facebook because some things are best not aired in public. :P

            Good job on clearing the people your aunt was using to spy on others with. And, yes, if they ask, put the blame squarely where it lies: Your aunt.
            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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            • #7
              Why would your aunt even care about you posting that? Sounds like she needs to mind her own business.

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              • #8
                I post very little on Facebook. I don't want my employer or a potential future employer to see it. Not that I do anything illegal or scandalous, but I don't want to deal with blowback on my political views.
                Good news! Your insurance company says they'll cover you. Unfortunately, they also say it will be with dirt.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by protege View Post
                  For the most part, I don't give a crap about what I post on Facebook. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it. That's not to say that I'm not careful. Since my grandmother and 93-year-old aunt are on my friends list, along with a friend's MG-owning daughter (I added her so she could see what I'm up to with my car), I try to censor myself. Otherwise, I post what I want. Other people can get bent.
                  That's pretty much my opinion. I don't censor my page (like some folks I know) just b/c somebody might not like it.

                  Screw that. You don't like it? Boohoo, grow up and don't read it for cryin' out loud. It's MY page, I'll post what I want to (as long as it doesn't violate the TOS) and folks can either like it or unfriend me. I don't have time for their pissy little drama llama tantrums b/c they saw me post something on FB that didn't suit their little insulated universe.

                  How about crawling back under that rock ya crawled out of and STFU?
                  If life hands you lemons . . . find someone whose life is handing them vodka . . . and have a party - Ron "Tater Salad" White

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by DGoddess View Post
                    Screw that. You don't like it? Boohoo, grow up and don't read it for cryin' out loud. It's MY page, I'll post what I want to (as long as it doesn't violate the TOS) and folks can either like it or unfriend me. I don't have time for their pissy little drama llama tantrums b/c they saw me post something on FB that didn't suit their little insulated universe.
                    I actually had someone try to dictate what I could and couldn't post on my Livejournal (remember that place?) awhile back. Seems she was upset that I'd post about the car, whatever I was building in the workshop, my trains, etc. and found it "boring."

                    So naturally, I told her to "bugger off" if she didn't like it. I mean, I didn't rail against the constant male-bashing, the anti-Republican crap, or the disgusting shit (pun intended) that she was constantly posting about her kids. I mean really, who wants to see a dirty diaper? No, I took flak over my successful overhaul (including paint job) on a 1988 Radio-Flyer "station wagon"

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                    • #11
                      If you're one of those people who don't care what they post, please please please make sure your privacy settings are up-to-date.

                      I check Facebook every single time I get a job applicant I'm interested in. Some people have posted things that immediately ruled them out before even getting an interview (ie, "my boss can SUCK MY BALLS", and "hungover! calling in sick".)

                      Personally, I will post nothing on the internet that I would not be comfortable seeing on a billboard in Times Square beside my picture.

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                      • #12
                        I only post about games and anything that is an emergency. However, if a friend's post is interesting, I will comment on it.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Rageaholic View Post
                          Why would your aunt even care about you posting that? Sounds like she needs to mind her own business.
                          My aunt LOVES to make drama. She will WALK into our house if the door is unlocked without knocking. She once picked my mom up for some early morning activity and tricked my mom into letting her use the bathroom, so she could get to the part of the house where the bedrooms are and bother my brother and I. She woke us both up violently and then threatened to pour water on us if she arrived at our house again to find us sleeping. She is an abusive, self-centered bitch who loves to gossip and make drama.

                          My mom, her older sister, HATES drama. She doesn't like being criticized but doesn't defend herself. She is a wonderful woman, but a doormat to her sisters, especially this aunt. She does not like hearing negative things about herself, my father, or my brother and I. But she would NEVER dare stand up for us, and prefers we do the same. She doesn't like to make waves. Ironically, she has no problem confronting my brother and I if we call her sister a bitch since "she's my sister and you can't talk about her like that." Which of course gets a round of "we are you CHILDREN" from brotherkiba and I. Please don't misunderstand my mom is an angel, it's just that it's easier for her to have a backbone with her kids and husband than with her siblings.

                          Telling my aunt off would just cause problem for my mom. So I just try to keep a low profile. But if the Wicked Witch wants to make up imaginary things, I can't exactly defend myself. There is no point fighting the woman. It's like shoving someone who shoved you and them retaliating by kicking your puppy. My mom gets the brunt of the criticism, because whether I do good or bad, my aunt has something to say to my mother about it.

                          For the record, I have never posted anything gross, poltical, relgious, or scandlous on my facebook page. Just in case people might see it. But now i have the privacy settings set really high.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by hinakiba777 View Post
                            My aunt LOVES to make drama. She will WALK into our house if the door is unlocked without knocking. She once picked my mom up for some early morning activity and tricked my mom into letting her use the bathroom, so she could get to the part of the house where the bedrooms are and bother my brother and I. She woke us both up violently and then threatened to pour water on us if she arrived at our house again to find us sleeping. She is an abusive, self-centered bitch who loves to gossip and make drama.
                            And what if, due to a "2nd shift" job, you or your brother had only been home for a few hours? Would your aunt have appreciated someone waking HER up at 11 PM, accusing her of being a "lazy bum" for sleeping in? She's treading on dangerous ground - there are a lot of people (common for veterans) who you DO NOT TOUCH while they're sleeping (and in some of the more extreme cases, you don't even walk within reach of them).

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                            • #15
                              Actually Wolfie, I had just gotten off of third shift at the hotel, now that I recall. It was my day "off", but yeah I'd had been home and in bed for maybe two hours at that point. And she didn't touch either of us. She just made a lot of noise, and my bed is actually against the wall where the door to my room resides. Brotherkiba often talks about how she would feel if we dumped water on her granddaughters or something. But yeah, had she touched either of us she would have been injured. My father, brother, and I all tend to flail if we get woken up suddenly, and if we are shaken my brother and I tend to come up swinging.

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