Puberty is not evil!

[Rageaholic]

I need to let off some steam because this is a topic that literally makes me fume (I've had to walk out of the room when someone brought this up one time). Having been a teenager 10 years ago, I can say that it's a pretty sensitive time. The last thing ANY teenager needs is someone telling them crap about their sexual urges being evil. Yes, I'm mainly going after religion here because religious extremists are the most outspoken about sex. Every time I see one of these idiots guilting people over masturbation or telling them that they're going to hell, I want to slap them silly. You would think that God made sex, it wouldn't be considered so evil. But so many of these people plant these ideas inside teenagers heads that any kind of sexual thought or urges is some kind of temptation that needs to be subdued.

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

[smileyeagle1021]

I think the only thing worse than the people who preach about how evil it is are the ones who preach about how you should be feeling about it and what you should be feeling. Even adults start labeling teenagers as freaks if they aren't showing the appropriate "growth". I especially hated the term "late bloomer", as if kids don't have enough to worry about, now they are being told that they are abnormally different by their own parents in an attempt to "comfort" them... "oh, you're just a late bloomer" comes across as "oh, you're just a little special." Personally, I had my own personal hell of being constantly asked when I was going to start going after girls before finally giving in and dating the first girl I could think of (a friend who was likewise not particularly interested in dating, though for her own reasons) and hiding how close I was to suicide because I just couldn't feel the feelings that these well meaning adults kept telling me I should have. And that doesn't even go into feeling things that less well meaning adults were telling me that I shouldn't feel that I couldn't stop myself from feeling.

[s_stabeler]

these are usually the same idiots that think that to follow God's will, you must not do anything enjoyable, to be fair. But yeah, it can seriously mess a teenager up.

[TheHuckster]

Even adults start labeling teenagers as freaks if they aren't showing the appropriate "growth". I especially hated the term "late bloomer", as if kids don't have enough to worry about, now they are being told that they are abnormally different by their own parents in an attempt to "comfort" them... "oh, you're just a late bloomer" comes across as "oh, you're just a little special."

I'm just curious, what would you say to someone who is concerned about developing later than others without it coming across as "you're just a little special"?

I never considered the term being akin to calling one a "freak" or even "a little special."

[AccountingDrone]

I'm just curious, what would you say to someone who is concerned about developing later than others without it coming across as "you're just a little special"?

I never considered the term being akin to calling one a "freak" or even "a little special."

You could tell them that there is a variation in puberty that can range as early as 5 years old, and as late as 15 to 16, and that the age of puberty is dependent on a number of variables so not everybody hits puberty at the same age even in the same family. And if they are worried about something specific, you will happily make them a doctors appointment so they can ask any further questions about anything that you may not have any information about, or that they can go online and research puberty and the various questions they might have.

[fireheart17]

I really shouldn't be laughing at this, but you've reminded me of a story that a friend of mine brought up at uni today. She used to work for a sexual health service, which among other things, provided information for teenagers with intellectual disabilities on sexual health.

Among one of the things was a brochure on how to MASTURBATE. Yes, apparently only teenagers without intellectual disabilities can be told that hand-shandying is evil.
Initially this triggers a fresh wave of laughter amongst us...not about the intellectual disabilities part, but more because such a publication exists.

My colleague then explained that the brochure went into the SOCIAL side of it. Namely, close the door, have tissues ready etc....then added that the brochure had pictures and the look on the cartoon guys face when he was "finished" sold it.
Cue another round of laughter

The moral of my post? Apparently teenagers with intellectual disabilities in Australia can masturbate freely, as long as they follow societal norms (although depending on where you are, we do actually provide sex ed programs in schools)

[s_stabeler]

You could tell them that there is a variation in puberty that can range as early as 5 years old, and as late as 15 to 16, and that the age of puberty is dependent on a number of variables so not everybody hits puberty at the same age even in the same family. And if they are worried about something specific, you will happily make them a doctors appointment so they can ask any further questions about anything that you may not have any information about, or that they can go online and research puberty and the various questions they might have.

that... may be a little complex for some kids. " It's OK, everyone goes through puberty at different times" is probably better.

[bara]

I especially hate how this preaching of EVIL sex can cause girls to not report pregnancies and then they do not take care of themselves or even go so far as to induce a miscarriage so they don't get in trouble with their parents or their church.

[HYHYBT]

I'm just curious, what would you say to someone who is concerned about developing later than others without it coming across as "you're just a little special"?

I never considered the term being akin to calling one a "freak" or even "a little special."

Unless I've totally misread things, you've changed the question. Adding in "to someone who is concerned about developing later than others" flips the whole thing on its head. Saying things like "It's OK, don't worry about it" when the part you added is absent serves no purpose except to suggest that they ought to have been worried.

[cindybubbles]

I especially hate how this preaching of EVIL sex can cause girls to not report pregnancies and then they do not take care of themselves or even go so far as to induce a miscarriage so they don't get in trouble with their parents or their church.

Inducing a miscarriage is abortion, which, for the Catholic Church at least, means instant excommunication for the girls. So they're doubly screwed.

In reality, sexual intercourse that is vaginal, contraception-free and between a man and a woman who are married to each other is HOLY, while all other forms are considered disgusting and evil by the Catholic Church. The reason is that the former encourages procreation while all the latter forms do not.

So in other words, what they are saying is, if you don't want kids, DON'T HAVE SEX! And if you do have sex and you take precautions to ensure a child-free intercourse, you're screwed.

[Jetfire]

The moral of my post? Apparently teenagers with intellectual disabilities in Australia can masturbate freely, as long as they follow societal norms (although depending on where you are, we do actually provide sex ed programs in schools)

That may be the biggest reason for having such pamphlets and guidance available.

Granted I am not well versed on intellectual disabilities; but one of the big things with those disabilities is not knowing what the social norms are. If they aren't taught to follow the norms, you could have them masturbating in inappropriate places because it does feel so good for them.

[fireheart17]

That may be the biggest reason for having such pamphlets and guidance available.

Granted I am not well versed on intellectual disabilities; but one of the big things with those disabilities is not knowing what the social norms are. If they aren't taught to follow the norms, you could have them masturbating in inappropriate places because it does feel so good for them.

Given there are a small handful of special schools (where you'd be more likely to find such students) that are public, the rest are all catholic or otherwise independent. I have a sneaking suspicion that those schools are not teaching students what I mentioned above.

That said there are three exceptions to the rule on the special school front. One caters for students with vision impairments, one caters for deafblind and students who have one or the other with multiple disabilities and the other caters for students with physical disabilities only.