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  • Making Plans too late

    So I have no concept of time. It's just how my brain is wired, and not something I can help. That means that without a clock I am lost, and that I need to plan out my day very specifically. I need to know where I am going to be and for how long, how long it will take me to do certain activities, and the precise amount it takes the travel. That means that if i have something I need to do, I need to know well a head of time when and where it will be. Especially as certain activities such as eating, cleaning up, and dressing don't have set times so I can't account for them very well.

    So it is a huge pet peeve when people don't establish the time of an event early, or even worse announce something last minute. If I'm supposed to do something on Tuesday and no one tells me until 5pm that it will take place at 6pm, then I won't make it on time, or at all. It's even worse if someone just messages me the day of and tells me they need me to do something in a few hours. Lately, the worst person for this is the director of the web series I was working on. Thankfully we are finally finished recording.

    He initially gave us a tentative schedule of when and where we were recording. As it was tentative it wasn't totally accurate, but was unemployed when we started it was not a huge deal. However, once i started working it was very hard to juggle both activities. Especially when he, or whoever was announcing the rehearsal/recording, would not announce until maybe noon that day that we were recording at 5pm on a Friday. Which mean if I ended up seeing the message in the facebook group on time, I would have 4 hours to get organized. More often than not, I tended to be very late (sometimes by an hour) for these sessions, as I usually only ended up getting the message at 3pm, and to be on time I'd need to leave by 4. The worst instance of this was the second last day of recording. It was a Friday and I needed to work until 2pm and then I had a party to attend at 9:30pm. Having heard NOTHING about recording that day, I made up my personal daily schedule. Then at about 9am someone in the group announced we were, in fact, recording that evening at 5pm. Which gave me no time to prepare my supplies for the recording before work, plus i had to sort about 5 hours of errands and the like into 2 hours. I was obviously late, and everyone was annoyed.

    It just drives me nuts. How the hell is someone supposed to get ready for something when they get such last minute instructions? I've experienced this with group projects, helping friends with activities, and going out. I'm not big on having plans, as once my day is scheduled I have to stick to it, but if there is a plan i need to know early, and we need to stick to it. Otherwise, my day goes to chaos, or I seem flighty.

    I'm also really hate when someone tells you to be ready for a certain time and then are early or late. Like if they say they will meet you at 10pm and arrived at 9:15 or 10:30 or something to that affect.

    I'm fine with doing spontaneous things with friends if i have the free time, but not mandatory activities last minute. If there is a plan, it needs to be established AT LEAST the day before (approx 24 hours, not 12 hours) and then it has to be stuck to.

  • #2
    These threads are always fun, because we all seem to have the same stories of people (friends/family/the like) who just don't understand that the world doesn't revolve around them, and not everyone can just drop it all and come by in an hour.

    I cannot fathom the nerve of some people. I mean, it's always harmless to call/text someone and ask what's up or see if they want to do something now/soon. Whatever. That's fine.

    The people who call me and EXPECT an answer of yes, and will pout text or whine on the phone about my answer of "No" and of it being too short of notice or whatever reasoning, and not stop whining, well, they usually don't stick around long. And I don't mind that.

    If you can't figure out by the time you've reached adulthood that you cannot, nor should you not, expect people to drop everything and join you every time an idea pops into your head, then you really need help.

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    • #3
      Well, it depends.

      I have a very set schedule to take my meds on, if I don't I can have a stroke or I can have a diabetic issue. So I have 4 hard points in my day, 5 am, 1 pm, 5 pm and 9 pm. I am always awake at 5 am, so I immediately take the meds for that time. I then take my shower - I always do it the same way so I know to allot 30 minutes for shower/brushing teeth. Rob makes himself coffee, and nukes my oatmeal for me for breakfast, which making and eating we make take 30 minutes. I typically wear the same thing around the house so dressing after my shower and breakfast takes about 5 minutes. SO I start my day clean and minimally dressed. I can swap out my sports shorts or sweat pants for slacks suitable for going into public in about 5 minutes, adding socks and shoes. Grab my messenger bag and coat, shove my phone into a pocket, grab my crutches and head for the momvan. I keep my wheelchair in the momvan, and have a second old one in the house.

      Probably if I needed to dress semiformal/cocktail it would take maybe 10 or so minutes to change clothes and recomb and braid my hair. I tend to always keep my laundry done and folded/hung properly because we have a tiny house with crappy storage and if we didn't it would look like a hurricane whirled through.

      So my answer to you would be for you to try and experiment - see how long it takes you to do a shit, shower and shave [basic cleanliness based on age and sex, and facial fur if any] organize your wardrobe and always keep it maintained and ready to get dressed in an appropriate outfit. Thus, if you get a call saying you need to be somewhere in 2 hours, you are already clean, all you need to do is get dressed and get to the event.

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      • #4
        As my rota started getting more and more 'interesting' I took to texting a copy to captain dickhead so he knew when I was not available for drinks, if I don't get home till nearly 8 (after a quick dash to the 24 hour Tesco on the way home) and I then have to be back in at 6am I might not be up for a drink, he would also know which midweek day was my day off and over time notwithstanding I could be tempted out then.

        He asked at first why I was texting him my rota and I told him so he would know what days I finish late then start early, those are the less likely to go out days etc, yet even with the schedule, he would ask if I fancied going out.

        Mind you this is the guy whom I told when I used to finish around 4:30 not to call before 5 as I would be cycling home and not answering my phone, yet I lost count of the times it would ring in my pocket as I listened to a cheap USB MP3 player before then.

        As for the director and everyone else involved in scheduling actors to a studio, that can not be half arsed, what if you were working a late shift that day and could not get cover, everyone shows up yet they still can't film if you are not their to act with them, if they had a set schedule all actors and behind the scenes guys who work a primary job know that Friday evenings and the rest of the weekend are set aside for this project and should not be on the rota for those times.

        If it was voice acting you can work around an absence but a stage play without an understudy or a live action piece where you are going to notice an actor swap people need a proper heads up.

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        • #5
          I don't have a problem keeping track of time, but I do have respinsibilities in my life, so if someone wants to hang out I need (depending on what we're doing and where) at the very least, 24 hours' notice. I never feel bad telling people I can't do something just because they didn't let me know about it in time. I'm a planner, and my life runs more smoohtly for it.

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          • #6
            Housemate plans things with precision. We have so much on in December - haircuts, card-making, friends' visits, then a talk on Jupiter's moons at Intech, then a wedding, then Xmas meals, then me going oop north - that we don't have a free day until January! At the moment a day timetable is stuck to the living room door. It's most helpful.

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