Controlling, Lazy, Bitchy Baby Mamas!

[blas87]

If you are the type to think only a single father is capable of being lazy or a deadbeat, if you think only women struggle to raise kids.......you might want out of this one.

So, I haven't posted much about this until we knew for sure....but as of right before Christmas, we got the paperwork. And I'm an aunt. Yep. My little brother has a baby with his ex gf.

For a little refresher, this is the nomadic slob girl that was living with us in the late summer/early fall of 2012, then she moved with my brother when he got his own place, and then one day she randomly just ran away, assumingly breaking it off with him.

Then lo and behold, a couple of months later, she's posting all over Facebook how she's pregnant, and private messaging me telling me I'm going to be an aunt.

Well of course, as soon as the paperwork came subpoenaing (sp?) my little brother for child support, he contested paternity and got tested. It only took a damn two months to find out the results.

Yeah, well, guess what...it doesn't even matter that he is the father. At this point, he's nothing but money to her! They're going to garnish $600 a month from him, so she doesn't need to work or anything because she doesn't.....she leeches off her new boyfriend, whom she's taught to her baby that he's her daddy.....we only get to see the baby on HER terms, because they live near 4 hours away way up in the northern part of the state.

My brother's going to get a lawyer, because after being told repeatedly that he cannot see his kid, and her newest bullshit which is "You can spend time with your baby when you take parenting classes" (?!?!?!?), he's now fearing that she's going to try to get his rights severed or something like that, because he cannot even get this dumb bitch to budge on letting him see his own daughter.

And for the record, let me tell you.....my brother is the more mature, financially stable, and MENTALLY stable out of the two of them. Just because he didn't physically give birth doesn't mean shit. He didn't run away, SHE DID while she was pregnant. Yet she makes it out to be that he abandoned her, if you read her sob posts on Facebook about what a "real" father does, when she praises her new bf and basically slams my brother.

My little brother would NEVER do that. He is not a deadbeat. Her lazy ass is! She barely kept a job while she lived here, all she ever did was stuff her fat face and leave clumps of her hair all over the bathroom and feed junk food to our dog.

I doubt there's a person on earth who doesn't like my brother or who would call him lazy or worthless.

It's so fucking stupid that he's going to be esentially nothing but free money to her until he can get a lawyer to slap some sense into a judge. It's not always the mother who is right to be the main parent in a split relationship!

[s_stabeler]

actually, she's unlikely to go for completely severng his parental rights. why? because if someone outright loses their parental rights, they also lose the obligation to pay child support.

I agree though- there should be an EXTREMELY short list of reasons to exclude a parent from having visitation. ( off the top of my head, I can think of three- 1. kid was born due to rape. 2. Parent is abusive 3. Parent has tried previously to not return the kid/ there is evidence the parent will not return the kid.) and it should require a LOT of proof.

[mathnerd]

Your brother needs a lawyer yesterday! $600 for one kid is high. I know mine is low, but I only get $334/mo for THREE kids (yeah, I got screwed. long story). Also, a garnishment does REALLY bad things to one's credit, so if they've gone straight to that without giving him a chance to pay on his own, they've probably failed to give him proper due process and he needs to fight that.

I had a friend who went through something similar. He wound up documenting everything, hiring a PI to investigate the mother, then sued HER for sole custody. Fortunately, he lives in a state that doesn't automatically grant custody to the mother except in rare circumstances, so he actually won the court battles.

[Sarah Valentine]

Get a lawer and go after that bitch however you can, drag that bitch through hell for that bullshit.

[Stitchwitch]

Your brother should sue for custody, it sounds like he'd be a much better full-time parent than her.

[anakhouri]

My brother has been in this situation 4 times, with 3 crazy women (yeah, he doesn't learn). All of them use their children as pawns to squeeze money out of him so they can sit on their asses and not parent or try to support their own children.

In most states, as long as the father pays child support, the mother MUST let him see the child/ren. She can't legally keep them from him (except in cases of abuse etc).

So he definitely needs to lawyer up, because these sick games she's playing are illegal.

Your parents, if they are interested in having a relationship with the child, may also want to look into Grandparents' Rights laws.

Good luck!

[blas87]

Thank you all for your advice and support.

This really is a mess, considering the baby is now going on 7 months old and the paternity test was back in October, we got the results in December, and shortly after was the order of child support.

[draco664]

Does anyone remember a time when people would feel duty bound to provide for their children, instead of their children providing for them?

[Peppergirl]

What a horrible woman. I'm sorry you and your family are going though this, hon. From what you've told us about your brother, he seems like an upstanding guy. He definitely doesn't deserve this.

I hope he retains a lawyer and ends up getting some rights.

[Andara Bledin]

Does anyone remember a time when people would feel duty bound to provide for their children, instead of their children providing for them?

This time is no less that time than any other time you care to mention.

[munchkinmama]

Well Granparents don't have many rights. We looked into it about my nephew. The justice system sucks ass when it comes to family court issues.

[blas87]

The justice system is far too biased towards mothers.

It's really too sad, considering so many of them are benefit leeching, lazy, manipulative bitches.

It's part of the reason I won't even bother dating a guy with kids anymore. Baby mamas. They drive me insane. There can be a totally innocent, good guy like my brother who has done nothing wrong.....and his whole future lays in the hands of some stupid bitch he made the mistake of knocking up.

These bitches get money from the kids' father, get free food and healthcare, and if the guy dares to try to date someone else or does something else she doesn't like, she all of a sudden just decides that's it, no more kid time for you! or other random shit, and the guy can't do anything until he gets a lawyer or their next mediation or court date is. It's ridiculous.

[anakhouri]

Both populations (baby mamas and baby daddies) have their assholes, but I too have experienced the crazy mamas firsthand. I didn't see my niece for 3 years (no one in our family did) because of shit like this, and it looks like no one in my family will ever see my youngest nephew again (which I am sad about, but at the same time, as my mother said, it's not worth having to kiss his skank mother's ass to get to see him for a few minutes).

I hope it turns out better for your brother! At least he had the sense to stop after one.

[kibbles]

There is nothing that irritates me more than the automatic assumption that the mother should get custody and make all the decisions and the father's have no rights unless the mother says so. Absolute bull if you ask me!

Hope your brother can get some rights to his child.

[eltf177]

This is what I hate; the man is _required_ to pay child support. Fine, I agree with that. But when Baby Mama is unhappy she cuts off all access to the child and the man has _no_ say in the matter!

Sorry, she's cuts you off then he should be allowed to cut _her_ off! But if he does _he_ goes to jail! Where's the equality?