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Argueing with inanimate objects

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  • Argueing with inanimate objects

    I didn't respond to bhskittykatt thread on cs about a person who didn't do the phone message right, because I didn't want to fall afoul the FTSTS rule. While I agree her (his?) customer was an idiot for wasting their time not listening when the option they wanted was the first or second line said, in general, I hate automated systems. I have dealt with systems where I'm three or 4 tiers in and still am nowhere close to what I want, especially annoying when I KNOW there is not going to be an automatic option and I'm going to have to talk to a person. Some of them I start pressing random keys, I don't care who I get, as long as they can transfer me to the right person.

    I had to call my bank today though, they had froze my bank card for suspected fraud (they obviously don't know how scatterbrained I can get if they think it's weird that I made three purchases from the same store in less than ten minutes). The whole system is not only automated, it works only on voice commands. You never have an option to press a button, and if you do it just says 'Are you still there? Please say the ...'. That's also it's standard response to everything you do say. After going round and round and round and round I was starting to lose it. I'm standing in the parking lot outside of work yelling at my phone like a demented person 'NO FROZEN ACCOUNTS YOU MORON, NOT INVESTMENTS'. *Deep breath*

    So after I got my banking sorted, I calmed down and moved on with my life. Until I got home. I had just pulled in the driveway when the phone rang. I answered it, and it asked me if I would be willing to conduct a survey of the telephone banking experience I had today. Sure why not, I press 1. And that was the last time it asked me to press a button. The whole telephone banking survey was the same thing! asking me to verbally give specific answers, and not recording my answers properly. I was only on the second question, even though I had given about 9 answers already, and I found myself screaming once again at the phone like a maniac 'NO, THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID. YOU HAVEN'T UNDERSTOOD ANYTHING I SAID. I HATE YOU, I HATE YOUR TELEPHONE SERVICE, I HATE YOUR ROBOT THAT ASKS QUESTIONS AND DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE ANSWER!'

    Then I hung up like a champ. I wonder if anyone real ever has to listen to the surveys once the robot has done it's thing?

    I really can't deal with most of the automated telephone services I encounter. Although a few, like the guys who empty our bin are easy - for A/P press 1, for dispatch press 2, for - I don't know what comes after that, those are the only two I have ever needed. Then you get a person at that department. I can deal with that no problem.

  • #2
    I hate these simply because of the security problems it causes. Banks should NEVER have these, IMO. Most banks require you to give them your account number, social security number, and birth date before you even get to the phone tree, and those are NOT things that should ever be said out loud in public.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by NecCat View Post
      The whole system is not only automated, it works only on voice commands. You never have an option to press a button, and if you do it just says 'Are you still there? Please say the ...'.
      Has your bank heard of the ADA? Sounds like their system is completely unusable by mute people (a.k.a. "If you have disability X, you're SOL"), and a reasonable accommodation would be for it to accept button input for menu options - which would also allow you to enter sensitive data in a public place without breaching security.

      I've dealt with other stupid automated systems. Call during business hours, and the phone tree has an option to get pre-recorded directions to the place. Call outside business hours and you get an abbreviated phone tree WITHOUT that option.

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      • #4
        I tend to try to be patient through the first level of the phone tree, especially when I've never used it before. I'll listen through and try to pick the right option. If after that it seems like it's set up in a horrible way to make it tricky to get through, I get less worried about making sure I press the accurate button and more on getting the right person. But as someone who has to answer a switchboard, I can see it from both sides. I get calls all the time for stuff that is right there on the phone tree and we don't have a huge super layered phone tree. Often if they select the option they want on the first level, they will get straight to a person. Which can get frustrating when I keep having to answer calls that didn't actually need my assistance and would have gone quicker if they hadn't gone through me.

        I wish that phone trees in general were set up better. People would have less reason to be impatient with them and the people answering the phone would have less incorrectly routed phone calls. I'm lucky where I work that I get to have input on the phone tree system to make sure it's tailored best to help people. I don't like the ones where you have to speak or the ones that make themselves way too complicated with more layers than they need to have.

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        • #5
          I have that problem with self checks. I get so annoyed by it repeating "please put your item on the bagging area". I also hate it when it makes me get some attendant for something simple.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by wolfie View Post
            and a reasonable accommodation would be for it to accept button input for menu options - which would also allow you to enter sensitive data in a public place without breaching security.
            my bank just changed their IVR to recognize voice, it also takes button input(but not for confirmation you have to say yes or no-grr. HOWEVER, after inputting your SSN or acct number, it REPEATS IT BACK IN A LOUD VOICE! Why?
            Registered rider scenic shore 150 charity ride

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            • #7
              Why would *anyone* using one of these take away the option to get through it by pressing buttons? I’m glad only, so far, to have dealt with that once. Unfortunately, it was also one where 1) there was no option closely matching my issue, and 2) if you got through to the wrong person, they dumped you back into the tree. Or, rather, had you call a different number which turned out to be the same thing.

              HOWEVER, after inputting your SSN or acct number, it REPEATS IT BACK IN A LOUD VOICE! Why?
              Because people make mistakes. Also, because voice recognition is still far from perfect; they have to repeat everything back to you because there’s a good chance the machine heard wrong. and I’d rather find out why they ask for that at the *beginning* rather than after you choose an option where it would be relevant. I used to have a terrible time getting through to report found credit cards, for example. No, I don’t know the SSN, and it’s a good thing I don’t since it’s not mine!

              One other thing that it never occurred to me anyone would EVER do until I ran into it yesterday. I was trying to send a fax. (Yes, that still happens. A lot.) It wouldn’t go through, because it went to a phone tree. And while it should be possible for one of those to recognize a beeping fax machine and route it accordingly, this one, at least, did not. Why anyone would set things up that way is beyond me, but they did at least list two fax numbers, the second of which worked fine.
              "My in-laws are country people and at night you can hear their distinctive howl."

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              • #8
                This thread reminds me of this commercial that ran about 10 years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BE4AgLGLUaM

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                • #9
                  LOL I remember that commercial. It always comes to mind when I have to go through that number menu crap.

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                  • #10
                    I frequently find myself just pounding through to be able to get to a real person. I have enough issues with communication already, and I'll often hit the wrong button or something and have a panic attack.
                    "Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
                    ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest"

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                    • #11
                      I found out from first hand experience that cursing loudly into the voice recognition systems generally gets you a live human really fast.

                      I hate the voice recognitions systems. My house is loud. I have three teen boys, a loud-mouthed parrot and a small but noisy cockatiel. The damned parrot thinks he has to shout over you when you're on the phone. The VR systems generally pick up on what the stupid bird is saying instead of what I'm trying to say. More than once I've said "I just want to talk to a fucking human!" into the phone, and that generally does the trick.

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                      • #12
                        The robot disconnects you if you swear at it...if you're trying to talk to a human in her Majesty's government. >.<

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