Worst Movies Ever

[IDrinkaRum]

I always thought Gargamel wanted to use them to make gold. I don't remember him wanting to eat them. (I think Azreal - the cat - wanted to).

At least they remembered that Gargamel created Smurfette.

[jackfaire]

Besides, he was chasing the Smurfs, not because he wanted to make gold (line in the animated show), but because he needed to extract their DNA (or whatever) to make his magic stronger.

Well that part I can't totally blame them because at one point it wasn't to make gold but rather to eat them. They kept changing up which reason.

[IDrinkaRum]

You're right Jack. Now that I think about it, you're right.

However, the parents would be familiar with Gargamel being totally incompetent. And the kids could have determined he wasn't a good wizard by the fact he blew up his own house within the first 10 or so minutes of the film! Besides, he was chasing the Smurfs, not because he wanted to make gold (line in the animated show), but because he needed to extract their DNA (or whatever) to make his magic stronger.

[jackfaire]

Do not read spoilers for smurf

I hate Hank Azaria! (He played Gargamel). At the point he: (SPOILER!! SPOILER!!) grabs a champagne bucket cooler thing, gets up, goes behind the bar area(?), pees into the champagne bucket & then hands it back to the waiter (END of SPOILER),

That's disappointing obviously they were going for a chamber pot joke that fell horribly flat and was completely unnecessary and implied that he was a moron.

[IDrinkaRum]

Just saw The Smurfs today with the family (yay for sensory friendly films at the local theater, hosted by the Autism Society of Northern Virginia).

We wasted approximately 55 minutes (give or take) on the film. (No previews, goes directly to the movie, and when we got in, and it had just started). I knew it was going to be a bad film as Child Rum and I switch seats 3 times ('cos she wanted to and the theater wasn't even half full). Then I had to escort her to the bathroom (within the first 2 minutes).

I hate Hank Azaria! (He played Gargamel). At the point he: (SPOILER!! SPOILER!!) grabs a champagne bucket cooler thing, gets up, goes behind the bar area(?), pees into the champagne bucket & then hands it back to the waiter (END of SPOILER), I looked at Mr. Rum and we both decided to leave. We got up and left.

I was very disappointed. They should have made it into a animation (ala Cars 2 and Kung Fu Panda 2). If it had been animated, it would have been much more entertaining.

And you know what? I love love love love love love Neil Patrick Harris. But not even my intense love for him could make me continue watching the movie.

[Andara Bledin]

Brazil can be a tough film to watch. I find I have to be in just the right mood for it. Having some arthouse snob chattering in my ear while trying to watch it would have destroyed my ability to even care about it ever again.

^-.-^

[jackfaire]

It's a Terry Gilliam piece. They all have that same sort of "it would have been great if it stopped about 5-10 minutes earlier" vibe.

^-.-^

Part of what colored my experience was a fellow film geek. Me and him often have very different taste in movies. Mine is based on "Was I entertained/grew as a person by watching"

His seemed to be "Was it obscure and attempted to be artsy without making a point" I had him chattering in my ear the whole time about the movie which made it hard to get into.

[Andara Bledin]

Brazil - I get what the movie was trying to say but V for Vendetta did it better and in a more entertaining way.

It's a Terry Gilliam piece. They all have that same sort of "it would have been great if it stopped about 5-10 minutes earlier" vibe.

^-.-^

[AdminAssistant]

George Lucas is a terrible screenwriter and a mediocre director, but damn if the man isn't a brilliant producer. He's also done a lot for the technical side of the film industry (Industrial Light and Magic, Skywalker Sound, THX, etc.) While I don't think any of the work he's done for his films is award worthy, the man is long overdue for an honorary Oscar for his contributions to film technology.

[jackfaire]

Lol one thing that compounds my sin is that I liked the prequels.

But I can explain the sleekness of the ships on Naboo versus the military fighters from the original three.

I served in the Military and my five ton truck was built back in the early 80s late 70s. We just had to keep them running and replace them as little as possible.

Now you look at any Semi on the road and many look nicer and are in better condition visually than the ones in the military. This is because the private company only has to ask it's CEO and other execs "Hey can we buy, fix up, paint, our trucks" and there is no Senate appropriations committee.

Naboo is like a private company compared to the entire galactic empire. They only have to worry about Naboo and can buy nicer looking ships that cost more but look good. The galactic empire can't afford to do that because they have many more ships to maintain and would bankrupt themselves if they had to buy a whole new star destroyer every few years.

On top of that it's never mentioned that those ships were Military Vehicles. We are talking a society to whom space travel is common. Luke flew an X-Wing fighter to Dagobah like it was a short little road trip and he was in a car.

In a society where you probably can't call the Space Police, since it's never indicated one exists beyond hoping a Jedi is in range to help you, you would naturally have weapons on all space going vessels. As such the ships they conscripted could have been the Naboo Senate parking garage.

Like someone invading DC and conscripting the Congress' cars because they happen to have weapons on their BMWs, Mercedes and Rolls Royce compared to a Humvee.

[blas87]

We had, no lie, a several hour conversation about this very topic the other night at work.

Just about every single flaw from the original three movies, we covered.

[jackfaire]

Well, not to nitpick, but judging by the popular opinion of George Lucas, it's problematic when you have an incredible imagination, but you can't convey it into proper dialogue and movements. He had great ideas, but he needed a world of help with the writing, dialogue, and direction of characters.

What's funny is I loved the movies as a kid but someone pointed out logic flaws and those trip up my logic based brain. Now I can't watch them without yelling at the screen.

[blas87]

Well, not to nitpick, but judging by the popular opinion of George Lucas, it's problematic when you have an incredible imagination, but you can't convey it into proper dialogue and movements. He had great ideas, but he needed a world of help with the writing, dialogue, and direction of characters.

[jackfaire]

Some of these movies it's not so much the movie itself as the fans. Think the guy in Family Guy who keeps beating people's faces in with pictures of his kids. Some fans are like that with movies.

Phantom of the Opera

(originally I just wasn't interested but once people acted like my saying that was the equivalent of killing babies I started to hate it. BTW not exaggerating a guy I knew started sobbing and left the house we were hanging out in because I said I didn't like the movie.)

Brazil - I get what the movie was trying to say but V for Vendetta did it better and in a more entertaining way.

Fight Club - Because people miss where the people "stopping being sheep" become even more like mindless sheep than they were before Tyler Durden

SLC Punk - Because people seem to think "Yaaaay it endorses being an anarchist" instead of noticing the ending of the film that points out standing outside of the system calling it stupid didn't get them anywhere.

Inception - Let's make a mind blowing movie about surrealism that is neither mind blowing nor surrealist. Seriously Requim for a Dream was more surrealist than this.

Matrix - Let's take the Thirteenth Floor dumb down the questioning reality concept and make it an action movie.

The Village - I liked it better when it was a book called Running out of Time

Suburban Commando - We threw that wrestler you liked a few years back, the family with the down trodden dad that finally learns to stand up to a boss that seems to delight in emasculating his employees, and a Star Wars parody into the paint mixer. Odd it came out puke color.

Every "Sequel" that either has to ignore the ending of the previous movie that makes a sequel impossible or forces a continuation of a story that had been wrapped up so well it made Christmas elves burst into sparkles in delight. (There is in my experience only one exception to this that being Evil Dead 2 which was really just a cheap way of doing a remake so that they could make the incredibly epic flick Army of Darkness)

Star Wars - All of them. Oh wait I am sorry the original trilogy more so as everyone suffered from criminal incompetence.

1) A New Hope you have a weapon that blows up planets and you don't fire it on the rebels yet because your waiting to get around the PLANET that is in the way. Uhm duh?

2) A New Hope your clear shot on Skywalker is messed up by a pilot panicking and damaging your ship.

3) A New Hope your Mentor commits to a fight he knows he will lose to buy you some extra time to get on the ship and get away. You instead spend the extra time watching him in said fight.

4) The Empire Strikes Back your base is being advanced upon by Imperial Walkers which have fixed position guns that have extremely like almost no range of movement. Your strategy position your ships in their small window of visibility to warn them your coming and then aim your ship for their weapons fire. Celebrate being killed by haunting Luke who ordered the dumbass plan.

5) Return of the Jedi assume your sister is dead even though you have displayed psychic level abilities, like knowing your father is present and knowing that Leia is your sister.

[Nyoibo]

It wasn't blunt in there like the book but it was part of the movie, however subtle it was. Starship Troopers 3 does more justice to that aspect.

I thought ST3 went a bit too far, to the point of it being blind obedience and non-questioning loyalty. Also, did anyone else thing "These guys have been playing way too much Starcraft" for ST3?