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"Stealthing" -- have any of you heard of this!?

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  • TheHuckster
    replied
    Originally posted by s_stabeler View Post
    It depends, but it's not sexual assault, since sexual assault in this context is rape, and "stealthing" does not in and of itself invalidate consent.
    Sexual consent should be all about context and what you're specifically agreeing to. If my partner lets me finger her, then she's consenting to that, and not me putting whatever else I want into her. If my partner lets me insert anything else but my penis, then inserting my penis should be considered assault. And I can extend that to if my partner lets me insert my penis only with a condom, then inserting it without should be considered assault. What she's really saying is, "Don't insert sperm into me." And if you dishonestly agree to that and then intentionally remove your condom, you've just put something into her that she explicitly did not agree to. That's rape, as much as putting anything else into her that she didn't agree to should be. It's a violation of her body, and nothing less.

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  • s_stabeler
    replied
    It depends, but it's not sexual assault, since sexual assault in this context is rape, and "stealthing" does not in and of itself invalidate consent.

    However:
    1. You are liable for any consequences- that is, if they get pregnant, you need to pay reasonable costs of said pregnancy (by reasonable costs, I mean that the victim can't deliberately jack up the costs of the pregnancy to penalize you) and if they get an STD, you are required to pay for any treatment.
    2. If you know you have an STD, and you "stealth" someone, that is a crime (I would create a specific offense of "deliberately infecting someone with an STD"that would be what the crime actually was.).
    3. a broken condom is just plain bad luck.

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  • mjr
    replied
    Originally posted by Greenday View Post
    First off, women can stealth too. It's not just men who tamper with the use of condoms.

    Second, no, not all women can tell the difference between condom vs. condomless. I personally have no trouble telling the difference but my wife can't.

    It's definitely sexual assault as your partner didn't agree to unprotected sex. They didn't agree to unnecessary risk of pregnancy, STIs, etc..
    Good points, Greenday. I figured most women would be able to tell the difference.

    And I agree with you on your first point. But to the last point, how would a legitimately broken condom be handled there? Granted there's a difference in stealthing and a condom breaking but there's still those risks you spoke of.

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  • Greenday
    replied
    First off, women can stealth too. It's not just men who tamper with the use of condoms.

    Second, no, not all women can tell the difference between condom vs. condomless. I personally have no trouble telling the difference but my wife can't.

    It's definitely sexual assault as your partner didn't agree to unprotected sex. They didn't agree to unnecessary risk of pregnancy, STIs, etc..

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  • mjr
    started a topic "Stealthing" -- have any of you heard of this!?

    "Stealthing" -- have any of you heard of this!?

    I've heard of this before, I just didn't know it had a name...

    I read an article about this the other day. It's essentially when a couple start sex with the man wearing a condom, and at some point, he takes the condom off, unbeknownst to the woman.

    The article was written in the context of "stealthing" being "sexual assault".

    Which leads me to the question (mostly for the ladies): Can you feel the difference with/without a condom? I know as a man I can. I don't know if maybe it's a "heat of the moment/height of passion" thing, but I would assume women would be able to tell, too.

    Unless, of course, the man does it right before he ejaculates, so that he can penetrate her before she realizes what's going on. I don't know.

    I'm wondering if men think this is "funny", if it's some kind of "domination" thing, or if it's maybe the male version of a "baby trap", or what. I don't know.

    It also leads me to another question: How would broken condoms play a role in this being possible "sexual assault"?
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