Is rape such a big deal?

[Eisa]

got it. not saying anything about the OP anymore
going along with HYHYBT said...
I remember from my experiences...once that feeling has been felt, its very hard to be able to relax again without worrying will that person return be it from rape or robbery, you can't trust again for ages and everyone becomes someone capable of harm when that thought rarely ever occurred.
For years i watched people's movements when conversing, their body language for fear there is intent to harm me. No one could touch me not even for hugs.
It took forever to want to hug again.

May I say I completely know what you mean, Lexia? I can hug people now, but I have to know someone's there...no surprise hugs or I freeze. And I don't trust anyone now. There is one person I trust completely in the world and that is my boyfriend. Nobody else. The most ludicrous scenarios run through my head, too, like what would happen if someone broke in right now. Well, why would they, I live in a shitty apartment building. It's not like there's anything all that great here. Or like maybe someone will break through the window...again, why? I hate walking anywhere by myself. I mistrust everyone down to the children when I'm super tweaked, and the slightest noise makes me jump a mile in the air. And I hate it. And if those things hadn't happened to me, I would be having none of these reactions now, and it BLOWS.