but dude, you have a boyfriend...

[blas87]

I think it's an insult. Women aren't allowed to sleep with lots of guys, heaven forbid, and not a single of one of my friends even the ones who think he's a loser have said to me "Gee blas look at that guy, don't you wish you were single again?"

The only time we ever talk about being single again is when we are all fighting with our SOs and me and the girls are having our Sex and the City time. And unlike the guys, instead of talking about how hot other people are, we are just bitching and venting and leaving feeling a whole lot better.

[Red Panda]

Who says women can't have sex with a lot of guys or acknowledge that they have sexual feelings for guys they aren't in a relationship with? My life would be pretty dull if I repressed my sexuality for no reason.

[blas87]

I don't repress mine nor do I pretend I never used to be a little....errr....promiscuous. I was just going off what you said that it's a male thing to want to be with as many girls as possible. There was a time in my life where I was as bad as Samantha Jones.

That's not me anymore, though, and I don't find any humor in joking about cheating or leaving me for someone who is skinnier or drunker or easier.

[Boozy]

In my social circles, if a man said something like "Check out that chick! Don't you wish you were single?" while their friend's partner was sitting right there, that would be considered incredibly rude. Especially if that friend's partner seems uncomfortable with those jokes.

At the very least, it's not particularly classy, is it?

Yes, it's a joke. But there are appropriate times and inappropriate times to make certain jokes. Perhaps blas's boyfriend's buddies should reserve those jokes for a guys night out.

[HYHYBT]

Blas: there's a *big* difference between "enjoying the view" and wishing you were single, or even wanting to *do* anything beyond looking.

"The thing I think you should not do is what this one girl I know did last night, disappear into the bathroom with a random guy and try and screw him while her bf is busy playing beer pong. That is a "Dude but you have a BF" moment that actually deserves the statement."

EEEK! Thank you though, for confirming what I was trying to explain to someone on another board (who was going on about how immoral gays are for hooking up in restrooms) that straight people do the same thing.

[jackfaire]

Men naturally want to be with as many women as they can. Its their natural instict. .

Actually that's not true. (citing Stephen Baxter). According to studies it is the female who would naturally desire multiple mates. In evolution if a woman wishes to pass on her genes the best way to do that is sleep with as many males as possible.

This is desirable to the female for two reasons.

1) If no male is certain whether or not he is the father he won't kill the young and will in fact protect the young should it possibly be his to ensure that his genes are being passed on as well.

2) The female will pass her genes along no matter which male is the father having a larger pool ensures at least one will impregnate her.

On the side of men it is bad and undesirable to have multiple mates because that means he has more than one female he must protect which in a primitive instinct based culture would be very hard to do. It is in his best interests to try and get one woman pregnant and then stay with her to keep her safe so that his genes are passed on.

[Plaidman]

It took many months and much of me smacking my pal J to stop drooling and staring at girls boobs. After his near accident while he was staring at a girl jogging with big breats that nearly killed his girlfriend in the car, (Which she wasn't too happy about) he wasn't as obvious.

He learned long ago I dont' like that, and I'm a guy. So he doesn't do it around me, or he gets hit and hit hard with me saying "Stop staring at girls boobs and/or butt!"

Granted, he did it to me once too when I was awestruck by a girl -_-.

[jackfaire]

I spent years trying to be like Zack Morris so I was trying to check out every girl there was in an attempt to be the cool guy chasing the ladies.

[Red Panda]

In my social circles, if a man said something like "Check out that chick! Don't you wish you were single?" while their friend's partner was sitting right there, that would be considered incredibly rude. Especially if that friend's partner seems uncomfortable with those jokes.

At the very least, it's not particularly classy, is it?

Yes, it's a joke. But there are appropriate times and inappropriate times to make certain jokes. Perhaps blas's boyfriend's buddies should reserve those jokes for a guys night out.

I have to wonder if she has expressed that the jokes make her feel uncomfortable. I find many woman expect men to automatically know how they feel or to understand that the reason she isn't saying anything is because they said something three hours ago that upset her.

Actually that's not true. (citing Stephen Baxter). According to studies it is the female who would naturally desire multiple mates. In evolution if a woman wishes to pass on her genes the best way to do that is sleep with as many males as possible.

This is desirable to the female for two reasons.

1) If no male is certain whether or not he is the father he won't kill the young and will in fact protect the young should it possibly be his to ensure that his genes are being passed on as well.

2) The female will pass her genes along no matter which male is the father having a larger pool ensures at least one will impregnate her.

On the side of men it is bad and undesirable to have multiple mates because that means he has more than one female he must protect which in a primitive instinct based culture would be very hard to do. It is in his best interests to try and get one woman pregnant and then stay with her to keep her safe so that his genes are passed on.

I guess that explains why most male animals only have sex with one female except that doesn't happen so it does not explain that.

[smileyeagle1021]

In my social circles, if a man said something like "Check out that chick! Don't you wish you were single?" while their friend's partner was sitting right there, that would be considered incredibly rude. Especially if that friend's partner seems uncomfortable with those jokes.

At the very least, it's not particularly classy, is it?

thing is, I have people give me the lecture about how I've got a boyfriend even when I'm not doing it in a crass rude way. Even something like "oh wow, he is fit, I wish I knew his secret" which isn't even sexual... hell, I've heard straight guys say it about other guys, and I get the lecture. Yes, a lot of the time it is sexual, but saying "wow, that Zachary Quinto is hot, I aint kicking him out of bed for leaving crumbs" doesn't mean I have any intention of cheating.

[Boozy]

I realize that, smiley. My response was concerning blas's situation only.

[blas87]

I don't find malice or any reason people should be upset with you, smiley, because it's obvious you don't stare at other guy's goodies just to upset your bf or he doesn't have his friends do it just to upset you.

I didn't mean to steal your thread, I just felt completely opposite from others on this board who are apparently either more comfortable or more easy going in relationships than I am.

[Red Panda]

I think you need to figure out why you think the comments are meant only to hurt you when they most likely aren't. Why are you so defensive?

[AdminAssistant]

I think there's a significant difference between seeing a person across the street and saying to an SO, "Hm, I find them attractive" and somebody saying to your SO, "Duuude, don't you wish you were single so you could go tap that?"

[smileyeagle1021]

"Duuude, don't you wish you were single so you could go tap that?"

And then there's me who might turn to my SO and say "Damn, you sure you aren't up for a threesome"

OK, I'll go hide in my corner again