Wedding BS

[Lace Neil Singer]

I plan to have a long engagement with my fiance; when we do eventually tie the knot, it'll be done on the cheap. I was talking about weddings with my mum, and I mentioned how fantastic it would be to have a fish and chip supper for my wedding dinner rather than posh stuffy food. My mum thought that a great idea, so I'll probably, when the time comes, get the local fish and chip shop to cater my wedding.

I'm an atheist, so I certainly don't plan to have a church wedding. I'll be having a registry office do (the one I'm thinking of has room for quite a few people to attend!) and then go someplace with a bar attached for the reception. There's a leisure centre nearby that has a bar and function room upstairs; I'm thinking of that, cuz then I won't have to fork out for a ton of booze, cuz people can just buy their own.

As for kids; I won't mind people bringing kids as long as people understand that they will have to leave early. I don't want people forcing their kids to stay up all night or anything; luckily, the people I know who will be invited to the reception who have kids are all fairly sensible people and that won't happen.

I'm not going to be a bridezilla either; it's my bloke's day too and if he wants something, he can have it. We won't have separate cakes tho; I don't want to be tempted into eating tons of cake. XD We'll just have one between us, probably made by his mother who's great with cakes.

[jedimaster91]

Heh. I drove my extended family bonkers with my wedding since I didn't really care all that much. Got my dress cheap online and my old costume mistress from my dancing days gave us a great deal on alterations. I thought I was getting an A-line skirt, but a big poofy one came in the box. Mama Jedi and I took S a picture of what we wanted and the skirt and she magically made it look like the picture. Didn't care all that much about the food since I knew we wouldn't be eating it anyway. The only thing I wanted was mac & cheese. A friend of ours did the cake as a wedding gift and it was delicious. We borrowed a lot of the decorations. The venues for the wedding and the reception were free (temple and stake center FTW!). We also did a short ring ceremony at the reception for those who weren't able to come to the actual wedding.

Honestly, the important part to me was the marriage. Beyond that, I really didn't care.

[Ladeeda]

What's everyone's opinion on rings, engagement or wedding?

I don't wear jewelry most of the time, and really don't like rings. They just get in my way and are uncomfortable, either too tight or loose depending on the time of day.

Don't think I'd want to wear and engagement/wedding ring. Added bonus: save money by not having to buy them!

Maybe a token ring for the ceremony that I could wear on a necklace. That wouldn't be so bothersome.

[muses_nightmare]

Personally, I want a ring. But it doesn't need to be the most expensive thing out there, I'm not a fan of super simple rings either, but there are plenty that are ornate without being encrusted with gems or what have you. I'll leave that up to the BF though. I wouldn't complain about whatever he got me really, because of the meaning behind it.

[AdminAssistant]

What's everyone's opinion on rings, engagement or wedding?

I don't wear jewelry most of the time, and really don't like rings. They just get in my way and are uncomfortable, either too tight or loose depending on the time of day.

I don't wear much jewelry, and I never wear rings. I love my engagement ring. I love having the physical signifier that says, "Yes, I'm taken." You can find very affordable rings any number of places, so don't let the price scare you off.

[Ladeeda]

I don't wear much jewelry, and I never wear rings. I love my engagement ring. I love having the physical signifier that says, "Yes, I'm taken." You can find very affordable rings any number of places, so don't let the price scare you off.

It's actually the ring part I don't like. Wouldn't mind a different sort of engagement present, like a small diamond or ruby on a gold chain necklace. Or even an earring (I have 2 holes in 1 ear and 1 in the other, so I could still wear earring pairs).

...actually, an engagement earring sounds pretty cool.

[Lace Neil Singer]

What's everyone's opinion on rings, engagement or wedding?

My ring is a family one; it was my mum's godmother's ring. I've always loved it, and my mum always promised that it could be my engagement ring one day. It's also rather unusual, in the shape of a snake with diamonds for eyes and an emerald. The history behind it makes me love it far more than I would some ring bought from a shop with shitloads of diamonds on it.

[guywithashovel]

With the name change issue, there will probably be issues no matter what you do. My supervisor at the internship I did in grad school kept her maiden name when she got married, and she says she often has trouble with people who assume that she and her husband have the same last name. She says she sometimes gets assused of trying to "hide" the fact that she's married (not sure what that even means). So either way, you probably going to have stuff to put up with.

[Ladeeda]

With the name change issue, there will probably be issues no matter what you do. My supervisor at the internship I did in grad school kept her maiden name when she got married, and she says she often has trouble with people who assume that she and her husband have the same last name. She says she sometimes gets assused of trying to "hide" the fact that she's married (not sure what that even means). So either way, you probably going to have stuff to put up with.

I'd rather put up with archaic-brained idiots than the DMV.

[smileyeagle1021]

I'd rather put up with archaic-brained idiots than the DMV.

Umm, Ladeeda, what's the difference between the two

[Lace Neil Singer]

I plan to change my last name when I marry. So what? If my fiance's last name was something awful like Ramsbottom or Smellie he'd change his. As it happens, I like his last name more than my own so see nothing wrong in having it. XD

However, I will not become Mrs His Full Name; I will be Mrs Lace His Last Name. Just cuz I'm going to get married, that doesn't mean I have to lose my identity.

[Ladeeda]

Umm, Ladeeda, what's the difference between the two

DMV workers don't care what you call yourself, as long as the form's filled out correctly.

[AdminAssistant]

Reviving an old thread to keep from de-railing this one: http://www.fratching.com/showthread.php?t=3954

The question: Is it appropriate to invite guests to the reception but not the wedding?

I don't think so, and I don't see a legitimate reason to do so. If a person is important enough to you to be at your reception, then they should be invited to the wedding. If they are not important enough to you to be at the wedding, then why would you want them at your reception?

But! you say, what about couples trying to save money? The ceremony is a fraction of the wedding budget; the reception is far more expensive. If you're trying to save money, then cut the *entire* guest list. A Justice of the Peace wedding? Many JoP's will travel; a civil ceremony does not have to equal 3 people in a courtroom.

The only legitimate reason I could think of would be a destination wedding, a concept that I really don't understand, but okay. I don't want my family coming with me on my honeymoon, kthxbai.

I will admit to planning on a separate celebration here, but that's because 1) I don't want to ask my Kansas friends to drive 8+ hours and 2) I'd love to have a very chill, parent and drama-free, party to celebrate with my friends here. With alcohol, which we can't have at the wedding/reception in Arkansas. If the timing works out, we may do it before the wedding and call it an engagement party, I dunno.

As I said in the other thread, inviting people to the reception only seems to say, "Hi, you can't come to the actual ceremony, but please come to the party, eat some cheap cake, and bring presents!" It just seems rude and tacky, that's all.

[Ipecac Drano]

As I said in the other thread, inviting people to the reception only seems to say, "Hi, you can't come to the actual ceremony, but please come to the party, eat some cheap cake, and bring presents!" It just seems rude and tacky, that's all.

I would just invite as many people as I could to both the wedding and the reception, as not everyone might not be able to make it to both (especially if your invitees work retail or other jobs with ungainly shifts).

[ExRetailDrone]

I don't understand the concept of separate guest lists. When my husband and I got married, that wasn't even something that was brought up because it was honestly not even something I thought about. We didn't invite that many people to begin with, but those who were invited were invited to both the ceremony and the reception.

We were able to do the whole thing pretty cheaply in comparison to a lot of weddings we've heard about and attended. Everything - including dress and tux rental, invitations, ceremony, and reception - came to less than $2500. And that was with a big tip for those who worked our reception because they did a fantastic job! The reception by far cost the most. So if someone makes the excuse that they're saving money by having a larger reception than a ceremony, I would have to call bullshit. Our ceremony wasn't in a church because neither of us are religious, but it also wasn't at a courthouse, and with the officiant it still cost very little in the grand scheme of things.

I think I'm rambling Anyhoo, yeah, I don't get it