People Who Won't Speak Up...

[woodensunshine]

Yeah, there's a big difference in "I don't like Subway much, what do you want to eat?". SO much easier than saying "Oh, I don't care!" then throwing a fit when I pick Subway.

Or
"What do you want?"
"Oh, I don't care."
"How about BK?"
"Nah, not in the mood."
"Okay, how about Wendy's?"
"No..."
"How about Taco Bell?"
"No..."

[blas87]

Yeah, there's a big difference in "I don't like Subway much, what do you want to eat?". SO much easier than saying "Oh, I don't care!" then throwing a fit when I pick Subway.

[Slytovhand]

In going back through the thread, to HYHYBT's posts, in particular the first, I'd say "I don't know, what would you like?" is fine... "I'm not particular" isn't... cos it is particular (against).

"Anywhere but Taco Bell" is only 1 word less than "I'm not particular" (using the contraction)... so what's the hassle? (if it's realised in advance... if it's something that doesn't happen a lot, and you forget.. well, it happens).

But, I think your example is quite (and relevantly) different from the OP, anyway. You don't seem to be bitching about it.. AND you speak up at the time - and it's fairly insignificant. (Unless, of course, someone has just gone canvassing other opinions, they've all decided, and THEN you up and say "Oh, no, I don't go there"... too late!!!)

[Andara Bledin]

.... Thanks, Xan... >_>

^-.-^

[Nekojin]

"It doesn't matter. We're all doomed."

[Andara Bledin]

Totally unreasonable. "I'm not sure is NOT the same as "whatever you want."

The point is that the person in question said "It doesn't matter."

Seriously, how hard is it to not say "it doesn't matter" when everybody knows it damn well does matter.

If a person has a preference but fails to speak up, then they can get stuffed and cope. They don't earn the right to guilt trip other people because nobody could read their mind to figure out that "it doesn't matter" is code for "I'm too much of a pantywaist to come out and say what I want."

^-.-^

[HYHYBT]

That's what I hate right there and that's why it's a waste of time and nonsense drama.

If I ask what you want to do, where you want to eat, and you pull the "It doesn't matter" or "I dunno"....then not like what I pick, and don't say anything about it until later......guess what? Coulda woulda shoulda spoke up. Saying "Anything's fine", then me picking Subway, then cue you groaning "Ooh, not Subway"....well gee, would it have hurt you that bad to say, "Anything but Subway is fine with me."

Guess so.

Totally unreasonable. "I'm not sure is NOT the same as "whatever you want." If you choose to hear the one and insist it means the other, and therefore once someone isn't sure that's the last word they're allowed on the subject, then you are the one being unreasonable.

And you still haven't even given a reason. So I'll try again: what, exactly, is wrong with the following conversation:

Blas: Where would you like to have lunch?
John: I don't know, what do you feel like?
Blas: How about Taco Bell?
John: I don't much care for tacos.
Blas: How about Arby's?
John: Sounds good!

Two people having a short, ordinary conversation and coming to a consensus.

Or, alternately, replace the last three lines with
John: Oh, I can't stand Taco Bell. Would Wendy's be OK?
Blas: Nah, I always think about that finger thing. Pizza Hut?

And so on. The only difference between this and what you want is that I've passed the first turn to you, so to speak. There is no logical reason that should mean giving up all right to have any input whatsoever. (Of course, if you'd like to provide a reason, you're free to do so.)

There's another time where I believe this is actually far better than speaking up immediately, besides not having one thing in mind. If, rather than just going together separately, someone is taking me out to eat, I don't want to pick Outback when they were thinking McDonald's or the other way around.

[Giggle Goose]

And on top of that he's bitching about FREE food.

To me that's just fucking ungrateful.

Seriously! Like he's entitled by law to the pepperoni or something? Dude needs to grow up and be a big boy instead of acting like this--->

I have a similar situation at work that's not about pizza, but same concept. We get a notification from managers at the beginning of the year that trainings funds are available, so we should all sign up for training classes and submit forms to our manager so the agency can pay for them. I chose to take courses in my master's program that were related to my job. Believe it or not, college courses for a full semester cost just a bit more than some of the ridiculous seminars that other people go to just to get out of work for the day.

Now people are talking behind my back about the agency paying for my degree. Um, no, I asked if the funding was available. It was. I took it. YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING!! Why don't YOU try to take college classes instead of blowing $1500 of training money on a weeklong bullshit course on how to communicate better? Sorry you were too lazy to fill out a form!

[PepperElf]

I end up pretty hungry on last break, so I decide to eat it. He sits down nearby with the supreme one, and starts bitching to a few other coworkers nearby that I made him take the supreme pizza. As if I had hurt his feelings, should have KNOWN he wanted the pepperoni one, he doesn't like supreme, wah wah wah.

And on top of that he's bitching about FREE food.

To me that's just fucking ungrateful.

[Greenday]

I'm one of those people who usually say, "I don't care" when it comes to what to do for dinner or where to go. Thing is, if I really don't like the plans, I'll say so before we do them instead of after.

[blas87]

That's what I hate right there and that's why it's a waste of time and nonsense drama.

If I ask what you want to do, where you want to eat, and you pull the "It doesn't matter" or "I dunno"....then not like what I pick, and don't say anything about it until later......guess what? Coulda woulda shoulda spoke up. Saying "Anything's fine", then me picking Subway, then cue you groaning "Ooh, not Subway"....well gee, would it have hurt you that bad to say, "Anything but Subway is fine with me."

Guess so.

[SongsOfDragons]

A friend of mine puts this as her only real reason for voting: "so I have a right to moan". She detests people who whine about X result or Y decision and then go on to say they didn't bother to vote. I have to agree with her, really, but I find voting fun anyway ^^

A pet peeve of mine is when I ask someone something, like what shall we do, what shall we have for dinner, etc, and their response is 'Up to you'. This is why I'm asking you in the first place you idiot!! They don't always whinge when I make my own decision for X, but when they do I take great relish in ripping into them.

[HYHYBT]

Why? WHY is it a problem, if someone truly doesn't care within a large range, that they only speak up if you go outside that range? "It causes too much problems and wastes time" is no answer, and I am not referring to situations where it's done for "drama." Which it only causes if the other person decides to be a jerk about it.

[blas87]

I also have no patience for a person who says, "Doesn't matter", and then when I suggest a place they don't like, then they speak up. I don't really care if you aren't familiar with the area or unsure of how many restaurants there are around here or if you just don't feel like truly saying you really don't mind anywhere but Subway. Seriously, it causes too much problems and wastes time.

If everyone just stated what they wanted when they wanted it and how they want it, without the shrugging, the "wahdunno"ing, the *blinkblink*ing, the "I don't care"ing-but-turn-around-later-and-actually-hate-the-place-ing.......there wouldn't be unnecessary drama.

[HYHYBT]

I generally wouldn't say "anything is fine." I might well, though, say "I don't know, what would you like?" or "I'm not particular" or something along those lines.

But it works much better to let someone who has something in mind say so and then speak up if I have a strong objection rather than to keep a list... especially if, for example, we're in an area where I don't know every possible choice available by heart.

I tend to forget places I have no interest in going to are even there until someone mentions them.