Prayers Needed

[telecom_goddess]

Maybe it's wise to not write anything then, no sense in causing expenses and worry when you can avoid it.

But yeah his friends sound like losers.....and they are definitely not helping in any way.

But again you aren't enabling him anymore, and if the others keep it up it's going to be a bad end eventually.

[Greenday]

I've been staying out of this thread mainly because "If you've got nothing good to say, don't say it at all". But now that I'm definitely not the first...here I am.

You are wasting your time on him. He's basically just a manchild who seems to take no responsibility for himself. You've warned him multiple times and he's ignored you. No one is unaware of the dangers of drinking and driving. As others have said, you could do much better.

blas, your like a sister to me. And if my actual sister was dating a guy like this, I'd be giving her hell for staying with him.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Doing things like hiding keys doesn't help because it doesn't change the behavior that causes the problem. The behavior is still there. And it's not anyone's responsibility to hide his keys. Well, yeah, it's the best thing to do with a desperate situation right then. In fact, me and my friends have had to resort to that sort of thing also....with a guy that no longer is welcome to hang with us.

He's not welcome to hang with us because we're sick of feeling that we have to be responsible for and babysit a grown ass man. We can't change his infantile behavior. All we can change is our part in it. So that's what we did.

[Skunkle]

Yeah, I agree that, if you CAN do it, DO it. It's time to walk out. He might get better on his own, but with the crowd he surrounds himself with and his enabling parents, it's not gonna happen. You can totally do better than this guy. Put it this way: If you do dump him, he's just gonna whine and bitch, but he's never going to go, "Oh, fuck, I lost a good thing. I have to fix this!" He'll go out drinking and fart around with his pals just like before. Need to be certain you should move on? Blas97, here's your sign.

[Evandril]

I am mostly afraid for my safety, if I wrote something like that, if any of them know where I live. I like having tires on my car that work.

If saying something his friends won't like is enough to make you fear for your saftey...That is not a good sign. I know if I had a friend I thought would hurt my Wife...They'd be gone. Hell, one time my parents tried pulling some manipulative BS on my Wife, and I told them flat out if they ever did anything of the sort to anyone in my family, I was gone, and they'd never see any of us again.

My personal opinion? Get the hell out now, it will *NOT* get better, from everything I've seen in my past, from dealing with lots of friends/troops/ect problems. (I've been in the military nearly 20 years now, and a supervisor for over half of that, as well as being someone who's "Easy to talk to", according to my friends)

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I am mostly afraid for my safety, if I wrote something like that, if any of them know where I live. I like having tires on my car that work.

<SNIP>

I also don't want to write mean stuff because he has professors from the local tech school as friends, and if I want to ever go to that school, I don't want them to think I'm an evil bitch, in case I have any of them as teachers.

Fear should never be a reason to stay in a relationship that's going nowhere.

[fireheart17]

I'm so sorry, blas! I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

but that smiley seriously looks like two people making out, not hugging one another. *scuttles off to smiley thread to insert more appropriate smiley*

Fear should never be a reason to stay in a relationship that's going nowhere.

This.

Blas, I'm sorry that it did happen. But don't blame yourself. He was the one who chose to drink that much and then drive. And from reading the comments, you are putting quite a bit of blame there.

If you are worried about your own safety though, I would strongly suggest asking for some form of assistance in some shape or form. He's the one who did these things-not you. The friends who want him back to start drinking again? THey're the idiots. Not you.

I'm not much of a religious person so I can't really pray for him to turn himself around, but I can at least be thinking of him for you. And I WILL be thinking of you and hoping that you will be OK.

You aren't a bad person blas. You're one of the most honest folks on the forums I know. That is a good thing, we need more of it.

And you always have the community on BOTH forums to come back to.