Men and Women Can't Be Friends

[Sleepwalker]

I was raised by my single mother. It was my mom, my sister and I.

Look, I don't meet every woman with the intention of wanting to bang and/or date them. It's something beyond my control and I know a lot of other guys are the same way.

Then maybe you should be the one up front to say that you are not going to be friends with any women you meet.

[jackfaire]

So? Every American I've chatted to online has called football "soccer". I get into the habit of calling football "soccer" cuz otherwise they assume I mean American football. Seeing as football was played back in the days when America wasn't even discovered, I don't see why I shouldn't call it football.

I was more pointing it out because we Americans always get laughed at for calling it Soccer like we invented the term when really it was introduced to us as Soccer. I don't think you were doing it or even trying to do it but some people from England will be all.

"My god you yanks so provincial I can't believe you call it Soccer"

My response is usually "Uhm yeah well that's what you called it when you said hey check out this fun game"

[Gravekeeper]

Look, I don't meet every woman with the intention of wanting to bang and/or date them. It's something beyond my control and I know a lot of other guys are the same way.

You're also on the younger end of the scale though, are you not? I vaguely recall you mentioning being in your early 20s somewhere. Still in prime mate selection age. -.- Age, upbringing, hormones, call it what you will. I think the generalization, like many gender based ones, is actually just referring to a narrow band ( college years ) on the age scale and then verifying itself with confirmation bias.

None of my male friends display this particular inclination for example. But we're all post college age.

[Greenday]

Unless your upbringing exposed you constantly to the opposite sex and pulled your brain over to evaluting them as people before mates. Being raised around the opposite sex for example ( opposite sex siblings ) seems to have this effect.

I was raised by my single mother. It was my mom, my sister and I.

Look, I don't meet every woman with the intention of wanting to bang and/or date them. It's something beyond my control and I know a lot of other guys are the same way.

[blas87]

I am inclined to agree with you GK, but I'm not sure if it's always the case.

I have only one sibling, a brother, and we didn't get along until we were both teens.

Then again, I've always been friends with boys more than girls. In kindergarten and 1st and 2nd grades, the teachers made concerned calls to my parents that I was only playing with the boys and didn't get along well with girls.

To this day, it's still very much that way. I don't have many female friends, and the ones I do, aren't close in age to me.

Girls just don't like me. Never have. Probably never will.

[Gravekeeper]

The correct term for American Football is "Hand Egg".

As for the op, I am going to venture forth and label this problem as a function of age/maturity vs upbringing rather than a functioning stereotype. As this issue largely manifests in the younger end of the spectrum with a special caveat for upbringing.

When you are younger and single, you may be constantly accessing everyone you meet as potential mate material. Because you are young, doe eyed and this is high on your list of priorities. Unless your upbringing exposed you constantly to the opposite sex and pulled your brain over to evaluting them as people before mates. Being raised around the opposite sex for example ( opposite sex siblings ) seems to have this effect.

If someone is female, raised with male siblings, or male, raised with female siblings, they may trend towards having more friends of the opposite sex with whom they do not want to bang. Because they grew up around and know how to interact with members of the opposite sex who are not potential bang targets. Thus to them the idea of forming a relationship with the opposite sex that does not involve banging is a proven reality. They already have a mental slot for "Girls/Boys I can have a relationship with without wanting to bang" ready to fill people in too.

I for example, while an only child, was raised by a single mother and often around a female cousin who was practically a sibling. After I weathered the intial "Omfg girls exist and they are pretty" portion of my early teens, my circle of friends pretty much did a full 180 from about the age of 15-16 from all male to all female. I did not want to bang any of them. I was just tired of putting up with 15-16 year old males who really did not talk about anything excepting wanting to bang any of them. >.>

I found females more mature at the time and easier to get along with. Without having to bring up the banging of anything with tits every other sentence. I should also point out that the banging of anything with tits discussions that occured in my original circle of friends was directly almost entirely by guys who had only brothers.

Thus I will conclude this equation is a matter of age and upbringing.

PS. I should likely mention that I have ended up rather poor at making male friends too as a result.

[blas87]

If I say anything, I'll just come across as conceited and full of myself.

Better to not give people anymore reason than I already do to tear me apart for the way I think differently than others on this site.

[Greenday]

I don't want anything to do sexually or romantically with my guy friends.

Yea but what about them? Do they want anything to do sexually with you?

[Hyena Dandy]

The rules of football were codified in England by the Football Association in 1863 and the name association football was coined to distinguish the game from the other forms of football played at the time, specifically rugby football. The term soccer originated in England, first appearing in the 1880s as an Oxford "-er" abbreviation of the word "association".[6]

Yeah, we didn't make up the term, but we DO use it more than anyone else.

And it is useful if you're talking to Americans, especially if the sentence is ambiguous.

(Fullback and halfback are things in both sports I believe)

[Iseeyouthere]

So... do I go tell all the friends who happened to be female that I can't be friends with them anymore because they are females?

I call bullshit on so many levels.

[blas87]

I don't want anything to do sexually or romantically with my guy friends. They are all ugly dorks.

Yeah, so mean. But true.

My bf is a cute but doesn't realize or care about it dork.

I make friends with guys better because I have a dirty mind and mouth and girls tend to just all feel so threatened by other girls that everything is a competition...or all they ever want to do is gossip about other people's relationships or hookups. And I could go on and on about clothes and shop for hours until I was living in a box, but I can't and I won't.

[Greenday]

So? Every American I've chatted to online has called football "soccer". I get into the habit of calling football "soccer" cuz otherwise they assume I mean American football. Seeing as football was played back in the days when America wasn't even discovered, I don't see why I shouldn't call it football.

My British friend calls it "proper football" when he talks about soccer. He also showed us what a proper tea time is like while we watched some Black Adder. Good stuff!

[Lace Neil Singer]

So? Every American I've chatted to online has called football "soccer". I get into the habit of calling football "soccer" cuz otherwise they assume I mean American football. Seeing as football was played back in the days when America wasn't even discovered, I don't see why I shouldn't call it football.

[jackfaire]

^This. I'm very into football (soccer to you Americans)

The rules of football were codified in England by the Football Association in 1863 and the name association football was coined to distinguish the game from the other forms of football played at the time, specifically rugby football. The term soccer originated in England, first appearing in the 1880s as an Oxford "-er" abbreviation of the word "association".[6]

Within the English-speaking world, association football is usually called football (or colloquially footy) in the United Kingdom, and soccer in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the United States. Other countries may use either or both terms, and may also have local names for the sport.

From Wikipedia.

[Lace Neil Singer]

^This. I'm very into football (soccer to you Americans) and support a team. Most of my female friends die on the spot if football gets into the conversation; however, I can talk about it til the cows come home with my male friends, along with some friendly trashing of each others' teams.