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The Fox Top 10 For The First GOP Debate

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  • The Fox Top 10 For The First GOP Debate

    This is going to be spectacular. >.>

    The List:

    1. Trump
    - King Of Assholes.

    2. Jeb Bush
    - Smarmy Asshole.

    3. Scott Walker
    - A human disaster.

    4. Mike Huckabee
    - Crazy asshole.

    5. Ben Carson
    - Bigoted asshole.

    6. Ted Cruz
    - Machine Gun Bacon

    7. Marco Rubio
    - Possibly the stupidest person currently running for president. Not bright enough to be an asshole.

    8. Rand Paul
    - Asshole desperately trying to pretend he isn't an asshole. Blames president instead.

    9. Chris Christie
    - Corrupt inhumane asshole.

    10. John Kasich
    - Dickish asshole.

    This is a sad sad state of affairs as all of these people are legitimately terrible, but if nothing else it will make for entertaining television on Thursday. >.>

  • #2
    Drinking game-

    Take a sip when anyone says something intelligent, not a talking point, rant or dog whistle.

    Go home sober.

    Comment


    • #3
      Cribbed unabashedly from the Ars Technica debate thread:

      Any candidate says "abomination" but clearly is pronouncing it as "Obama nation": Drink
      Camera cuts to a candidate who is smirking and shaking his or her head: Drink
      "Judicial activism": Drink
      Every time Trump compliments himself: Drink
      Every time Trump insults another candidate as a completely irrelevant aside during some other normal talking point: Drink (normal on-target insults don't count)
      Carly Fiorina says "as a woman": Drink
      "Cut taxes": Drink
      Every time you shout "WHAT?!?" aloud in response to something Ben Carson says: Drink
      Any reference to Kenya or birtherism: Drink
      New Jersey or mobster jokes at Christie's expense: Drink
      Benghazi: Drink
      Rick perry revisits his "three things" explanation, counts his three things on his fingers like he's on Sesame Street, and then grins directly at the camera: Drink
      Candidate puts on glasses they don't normally wear only to take it off immediately before answering a question: Drink
      Every time a chyron scrolls by that puts "WAR" and "IRAN" within four words of each other: Drink

      Jeb Bush speaks Spanish: Chug
      "Scott Foster": Chug
      Moderators forget which state Kasich represents: Chug
      Fat jokes or bridge jokes at Christie's expense: Chug
      Any candidate insults Trump's hair: Chug
      note: posted before it was known Fiorina wouldn't be in, but this can go for the losers half pre-debate debate, too...
      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

      Comment


      • #4
        I usually prefer bingo to drinking, but I may take that.
        "Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
        ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest"

        Comment


        • #5
          The machine gun bacon was kind of neat. Too bad Ted Cruz is still an asshole.

          Comment


          • #6
            Yunno, I consider myself on the conservative side of moderate, but good grief even I can't find any redeeming qualities in this field. There's really not even a lesser of evils here, there's just vast amounts of crazy.

            How anyone takes Trump seriously I really will never understand. If he fell into a volcano I really wouldn't shed a tear.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by jedimaster91 View Post
              How anyone takes Trump seriously I really will never understand. If he fell into a volcano I really wouldn't shed a tear.
              The fact that polls find him favorable is downright disturbing. I don't think that many people even watched Celebrity Apprentice.

              Comment


              • #8
                I still like Chris Christie. He's pretty moderate. Just very outspoken and if you disagree with him, he's going to call you out. If he thinks something is wrong with society, he'll say it instead of being scared to speak his mind.
                Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

                Comment


                • #9
                  And, you know, just about the most corrupt cronyist of the entire lot, and that's saying something.

                  How can anyone living in NJ not despise the man?
                  Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'll tell you why, he's entertaining.

                    The "get the hell off the beach, you've maximized your tan" thing, the denying Jersey Shore tax credits (or whatever it was), calling out the doctor who talked about his weight on tv--if you don't pay attention to the scandals, what you're left with is the bits he lets you see that show him favorably. And if that's all you see you walk away with a positive impression.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Greenday View Post
                      I still like Chris Christie. He's pretty moderate. Just very outspoken and if you disagree with him, he's going to call you out. If he thinks something is wrong with society, he'll say it instead of being scared to speak his mind.
                      Three words: Pig gestation crates.

                      Never mind the bridge thing or the fact he just said teachers deserve a punch in the face. >.>

                      He's a corrupt asshole.
                      Last edited by Gravekeeper; 08-06-2015, 02:33 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Gravekeeper View Post
                        Three words: Pig gestation crates.

                        Never mind the bridge thing or the fact he just said teachers deserve a punch in the face. >.>

                        He's a corrupt asshole.
                        This is the first time I've heard about the pig gestation crates. Not surprising since that has nothing to do with the areas I've lived in and farming not being big in those specific areas.

                        Bridge closings? Until someone can prove Chris Christie was the one who ordered the shutdown of those lanes, this is a non-issue if you really think about it. The mayor of Ft. Lee didn't back Christie so a few of the guys who work under Christie arranged it to get back at him. For some reason, Christie opponents refuse to believe that people can't act without orders. Prove he ordered it and it'll be an issue worth considering (Good luck with that since no one else can).

                        He never said teachers deserve a punch in the face. He said the corrupt teachers unions do and quite frankly, I agree.
                        Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst. - Starship Troopers

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Greenday View Post
                          This is the first time I've heard about the pig gestation crates. Not surprising since that has nothing to do with the areas I've lived in and farming not being big in those specific areas.
                          Yeah, thats kind of the thing. It was 100% for his own personal gain for a possible presidential bid and contrary to the will of his constituents because fuck them, he's gonna run for president, why would he need Jersey anymore?


                          Originally posted by Greenday View Post
                          Bridge closings? Until someone can prove Chris Christie was the one who ordered the shutdown of those lanes, this is a non-issue if you really think about it.
                          Seriously? His deputy chief of staff, political appointees and one of his childhood friends all spontaneously put together a conspiracy to retaliate against a mayor that did not endorse Christie? Then he was "cleared" by a firm that's one of his political donors who did not conduct any of its witness interviews under oath, did not record any of them and did not even transcribe any of them? But didn't reveal this till threatened with subpoena?

                          If you actually buy that, I would like to sell you the bridge in question.


                          Originally posted by Greenday View Post
                          He never said teachers deserve a punch in the face. He said the corrupt teachers unions do and quite frankly, I agree.
                          No, he said they were the single most destructive force in public education and needed to be punched in the face for, basically, endorsing Hillary. If you actually believe the line:

                          "They’re not for education for our children; they’re for greater membership, greater benefits, greater pay for their members, and they are the single most destructive force in public education in America"
                          About the second largest teacher's union in the country ( cus teaching is such a cushy, overpaid and lavish profession that people are lining up for ) then I am delighted to inform you the bridge in question is now on sale for 50% off.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Don't forget that Christie also seems to be under the opinion that Kansas has a brilliant economic system... >_>

                            I can't believe anyone who is even vaguely informed could consider him a rational choice.
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Interestingly, most (if not all) of those chosen for what will undoubtedly be a pandering, ego-stroking, mockery of a debate are all semi-regular Fox "news" contributors (and one former host). Or maybe I'm being too skeptical, and it winds up being an unbiased, cohesive debate without a hint of false-patriotism, sensationalism, and tired, overused Conservative rhetoric and propaganda. But somehow, I think this will be as entertaining and pathetic as I'm anticipating.

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