Spanking children

[MystyGlyttyr]

I'm for it. I NEEDED it when I was little. Why? Because by the age of FIVE, I was already stealing, attacking people, and committing arson. I was a mean, vicious little child, and I needed to be "trained" rather than taught. Teaching just didn't work for some reason, I guess I just didn't have any reason to respect my parents by then. Physical pain was the only thing that got through. I probably wasn't a typical case, though, as most things about me are...not typical.

Later on, though, my parents stopped spanking and went to lecturing and guilt trips that made me wish they'd just hit me and get it over with. LOL

So far as my nieces and nephew, I don't know. Haven't thought that far ahead yet. I hope I don't have to figure it out, but I'm sure the situation will come up sooner or later...

[crazylegs]

Those against spanking...


How many children do you have?

I also have no children yet am for it, anyone is entitled to an opinion on a matter irrespective of experience or training.

Even thoses with years of experience of dealing with children have the wrong opinion on how to care for said children

(Warning, may be disturbing for some)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7370897.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/w...re/7439666.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/eur...ey/7421428.stm

[miffed]

Why hit children to achieve that goal?

Because it achieves that goal. Sure there's plenty other methods of discipline, but what works for some doesn't work for all (and yeah spanking doesn't work for all, but that doesn't mean then no one should use it). My parents were good at utilizing spanking, not so much on grounding and tough looks since those didn't bother me. But the swats on the butt spoke loud and clear.



My parents continued spanking us pretty much up until our mid-teens, and it was just as, if not more effective than when we were kids. It's pretty embarrassing being punished as if you were small child.

[IDrinkaRum]

I was spanked whilst a child. I remember when I was 5, I was curled up in a chair with my father standing over me with his belt in his hand. I've been hit with fly swatters, the hand, the belt, a hair brush, and a wire clothing hanger.

The only time I spank my daughter is if she lets go of my hand and runs away from me in either the grocery store or runs across the street and I'm yelling at her to stop. Once I catch her, one swat on the butt and a stern talking to. (Though she might not understand the talking to, she understands the swat and the fact that mommy is mad).

[Zyanya]

Of course, that doesn't in anyway deny me a right to an opinion, nor that the opinion might be valid

Nontheless, it is interesting to note the strong tendency of parents who raise good kids to be supportive of the act of spanking a child.

You can have the opinion that you shouldn't wear a wetsuit while water-skiing on Lake Superior all you want. Let's see what happens when you actually go for a swim there.

[Slytovhand]

Those against spanking...


How many children do you have?

I choose to have none.

Of course, that doesn't in anyway deny me a right to an opinion, nor that the opinion might be valid

I haven't been the victim or relative of a murder either, yet I can have an opinion on the death penalty....


Slyt

[Zyanya]

Those against spanking...


How many children do you have?

[Slytovhand]

Boozy... you are not alone (sorry it took so long, I didn't see this one earlier).

While I get where everyone else is coming from, there is one thing that I think needs to be said - most parents have no idea on how to actual parent. They just go with a 'ok - let's try this and see what happens', and most of the time, it'll be either what happened to them ("Cos I got a good spanking, and there's nothing wrong with me"), or they go the other extreme and try to do the opposite.

The 'rules' are merely what those individuals (parents) decide they want to impose, and for the most part, are incredibly selfish (that is, not designed to make the child a better person, but to make them into little clones... and hope for the best).

Rahmota... I loved your ideas that you posted up on the first page

I think that parents look at their kids and see them as kids - not as human beings, and certainly not as future adults.

The same goes for the way 'kids' are spoken to in general. You speak to a child as a child, and they'll act like a child. You speak to them as an equal, and you'll see a massive difference in them.

Discipline can be done in many ways - and 'violence' or spanking should almost never come into it.

(for the record - I don't once recall my parents 'disciplining' me - taking out their anger, frustration, disappointment, vengeance - yes... but nothing I would call 'discipline'. After all, there was no 'justification' expressed - only a 'do as I tell you'... good way to raise a robot to society, and remove self-empowerment).

Slyt

[BlaqueKatt]

Its all part of motivating the kid to self correct their behavior before you have to punish them.

And that is the very definition of the word Discipline

Short version from dictionary.com(of the 14 entries)

1. training to act in accordance with rules; drill: military discipline.
2. activity, exercise, or a regimen that develops or improves a skill; training: A daily stint at the typewriter is excellent discipline for a writer.
3. punishment inflicted by way of correction and training.

[crazylegs]

I'm for, but should I ever have to do that I will use my own hand, I WILL NOT use a weapon (belt/spoon/slipper) against a child.

[Norton]

When I got older, I was too old for hidings (teens). Then they started The Lecture. Literally TWO HOURS of lecturing. I would've given anything for a hiding instead, it was over quickly!

Haha, I understand completely! When my age hit the double-digits, I convinced my parents I was too old to be spanked. After a few years of dealing with my mother's incessant rambling lectures, I dearly wished she would've gone back to spanking me.

Rarely did it hurt when I got spanked (though I'd cry bloody murder). Only my pride was really injured. It's so embarrassing to be removed from a social situation to go get a spanking (when you're a child. Some grownups get a kick out of it ). In my old church, whenever a child would act up, all eyes would focus on the kid. The embarrassed mother would whisk the child off to the bathroom or outside. Some kids simply needed a talking-to or some fresh air, while others (like me) wouldn't calm down without being spanked. We all learned to behave in church, though. Some kids never even needed to be removed, because they saw how their peers fared after being disruptive.

Being raised like that meant that my parents could take me out in public while I was still in grade school, without worrying about me throwing temper tantrums and raising hell. People often commented how polite and patient I was even in boring situations.

I agree that spanking may not be necessary or right for every kid, but I also don't think the right to spank should be taken away from all parents. There is definitely a difference between a little physical discipline and abuse. It's a parent's job to not cross that line.

[DesignFox]

The original article is gone so I don't know how widespread or vague this ban was, but I would fully support a law banning spanking children on their bum.

The bum is the hugest muscle in your body. It isn't likely to cause injury getting whacked there, and doesn't leave publicly visible bruises...if any.

I guess that's why kids get smacked on the bum, and I think it seems to be the least cruel.

A rap across the knuckles would be damn painful...


At least I never got the belt or the spoon or the "paddle" like some kids used to...but if I was fresh, or talked back, I got a swat across the mouth.

I think I've already made it clear that I don't support such bans. Discipline should be different depending on the child and what the parent feels is appropriate. As long as it isn't flat out abusive (constantly leaving marks, hurting the child to the point of injury, emotional abuse, etc. etc.) parents should be allowed to discipline their children as they see fit. It is each individuals' responsibility to do what works for their families...and unless they see obvious signs of abuse, to keep their noses out of everyone else's business.

[iradney]

Count me as a BIG FAT FOR

I was spanked as a child. But not for every infraction. If it was a little thing (eg not doing one of my chores) then I would get a talking to, or my pocket money docked. If it was a big thing (biting my sister, being rude to my parents) then it would be grounding or spanking. Ofc, the first (and last) time I bit my sister, she bit back. Harder I learnt my lesson.

Also, something that worked with the sliding rule of punishment, was the 3 strikes you're out. If I do something naughty once, I'm warned. If I do the SAME thing again, I'm warned and given punishment like washing cars, no tv etc. The third time shows that I'm being naughty on purpose (this is when I was about 5/6 - very advanced for my age, at 6 I was reading at Grade 9 level), so I would get a hiding.

The hiding was always administered with a flat, bare hand. My parents used a slipper once, but that's because I set fire to something and nearly burnt down the house. I would get 4 - 5 whacks on the thighs and bottom, and that would be it.

When I got older, I was too old for hidings (teens). Then they started The Lecture. Literally TWO HOURS of lecturing. I would've given anything for a hiding instead, it was over quickly!

[Zyanya]

Why hit children to achieve that goal?

Because all children are different and there is no one solution to child care. For some children, a stern look is enough. For some, grounding them from a particular activity (and the activities in question vary wildly as well) works. For others, being made to do extra activities they find unpleasant is the way to go. For still others, nothing is worse than a lecture explaining why what you did was wrong.

And for others, a quick swat is the most effective if not the only way.

People are all different. Amazing, isn't it?


And I've often found that when people say 'my parent's never hit me', they are usually more often saying 'I don't really remember being spanked'. My friend B swears her mother never hit her in debates like this. I talked to her mother once, and her mother claims B's arse was black and blue pretty constantly between ages 4 and 6 due to nothing else working until 'B developed the ability to think more than 10 seconds into the future'.

[Boozy]

I just really feel that spanking is completely unnecessary. I think a lot of people say they are "for" spanking children, when what they really mean is that they are for disciplining children, and "spanking" and "discipline" are tightly linked in many people's minds.

My father never once spanked us, and he was a very strict disciplinarian, far more so that my mother. We would never cross him. There are hundreds of ways to instill respect for authority, respect for others, and teach right from wrong.

Why hit children to achieve that goal?