Father Teaches Daughter Lesson About Facebook

[KnitShoni]

Except it wasn't. She was not punished for being upset with having to do chores. She wasn't punished for the complaining itself. She was punished for the cursing and the way she talked about her parents and the family friend.

The order disobeyed was to not post things like that on facebook. Something she'd been grounded for previously.

[HYHYBT]

Because in this case the punishment is for expressing that opinion. The opinion expressed is inherently disrespectful, if you consider this expression of it to be. There are limits on the amount of respect anyone can reasonably expect, and requiring teenagers not to vent about their parents is beyond that.

(Punishment for "disobedience" when the order disobeyed was to not express your opinions is punishment for expressing opinions.)

[KnitShoni]

Why do people keep acting as if showing your child there are consequences for expressing your opinion in a disrespectful manner is exactly the same thing as punishing your child for having an opinion?

[fireheart17]

He seemed more pissed that she complained to her friends than that she did it on Facebook.

That's why people feel this is more about punishing her for having an opinion.

That seems to be the consensus for teenagers full stop: they aren't entitled to an opinion and if they do have an opinion, they are beaten down for having one in the first place. Parents need to remember that their child is not a mini-me of them. They will not necessarily have the exact same opinions as you. The general public needs to remember that despite their appearances, teenagers DO receive a thorough education, are capable of forming their own opinions and while they are capable of reading and writing, they may not necessarily USE it.

[jackfaire]

It wasn't that she was complaining about her parents.

Except his video gives that impression. He doesn't seem to care much about the venue as he mostly acknowledged that her friends were the ones to see it he seemed to focus more on "You and your friends having a big laugh thinking your so much smarter than us"

He seemed more pissed that she complained to her friends than that she did it on Facebook.

That's why people feel this is more about punishing her for having an opinion.

[KnitShoni]

Crash is explaining the "where you show out is where you get laid out" type of parenting. Which is sort of what happened here. She showed out (a profanity-filled rant disrespecting all her parents and a family friend) in public (sorry, if a couple hundred facebook friends can see it, it isn't private) on her laptop, more than once. However, she didn't get laid out. She got a lecture and her laptop taken away.

[Andara Bledin]

He punished her using the same forum that she used to warrant the punishment.

But don't you know, you can't do that with someone who is in high school because they're still far too immature to truly understand the consequences of their actions, so you have to let them be hellions in public and then make sure your punishment is private so they have to find out later on their own what the consequences end up really being.

^-.-^

[crashhelmet]

....No, they weren't. Not even close. His actions are the equivalent of spanking his child in private, filming it, then posting it online for the world to see and to show the other children what you get for disobeying him. After a lengthy tantrum himself to get back at his child for throwing one to begin with.

He punished her using the same forum that she used to warrant the punishment.

[Gravekeeper]

His actions were the equivalent to spanking a child in public and the backlash is the same.

....No, they weren't. Not even close. His actions are the equivalent of spanking his child in private, filming it, then posting it online for the world to see and to show the other children what you get for disobeying him. After a lengthy tantrum himself to get back at his child for throwing one to begin with.

[crashhelmet]

I forget which movie this line was in but it was something to the effect of:
You have to respect a superior officer.
No, you're just a higher ranking one.

It's from Down Periscope
"You watch yourself, Dodge. You are addressing a superior officer!
No, merely a higher ranking one."

Great movie.

Now back on topic...

The problem here is the negative reaction to his "response."

His actions were the equivalent to spanking a child in public and the backlash is the same.

A child throws a tantrum in the grocery store because its parent won't buy it a toy or candy or whatever the hell it is it demands.

The parent stands there embarrassed while the onlookers get pissed off at this demon-child and starts thinking all of these bad thoughts about how horrible of a parent they are and how they need to discipline their kid.

Or the parent spanks the child and someone calls the police for "Child Abuse"

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

She's too old to be spanked. This was her equivalent punishment.

[mikoyan29]

There is a general rule in maintaining respect in a managerial setting that has some correlation here. Praise in public, punish in private.

The daughter was attempting privacy. That she failed is irrelevant, but that's one thing.

The father posted the video to her facebook wall for her friends to view, if memory serves. He's old enough to know and do better. She's probably got a lot of maturing to go.

He failed at being a parent in that he handled this publicly and proved he wasn't worthy of the respect he thinks he's due.

Rapscallion

I forget which movie this line was in but it was something to the effect of:
You have to respect a superior officer.
No, you're just a higher ranking one.

[Rapscallion]

There is a general rule in maintaining respect in a managerial setting that has some correlation here. Praise in public, punish in private.

The daughter was attempting privacy. That she failed is irrelevant, but that's one thing.

The father posted the video to her facebook wall for her friends to view, if memory serves. He's old enough to know and do better. She's probably got a lot of maturing to go.

He failed at being a parent in that he handled this publicly and proved he wasn't worthy of the respect he thinks he's due.

Rapscallion

[Andara Bledin]

I don't understand why complaining about your parents is a bad thing. I complain about my parents.

It wasn't that she was complaining about her parents.

It was that she posted a profanity laced (mild by most standards, but none of us know how strict that family is about profanities) rant on Facebook, which was something that she had been told, specifically, that she was not to do.

She could have texted everybody about it. She could have emailed her friends about it. If she was smart, she would have made it a private message and not a status update. However, she chose to rant in a way that she was told not to and just tried to hide it.

^-.-^

[DrFaroohk]

I don't understand why complaining about your parents is a bad thing. I complain about my parents.

I don't see this as an unreasonable punishment if she'd done something really wrong. Taking the laptop and shooting it is just about the same as taking it normally. Posting it online is a dick move, but it makes sense. I just don't get how what she did was wrong.

Because "respect your parents" means, to some people, "never ever have a bad thought about them, and don't you dare ever even think about disobeying them". I dunno. World is fucked to hell in a handbasket.

[Hyena Dandy]

I don't understand why complaining about your parents is a bad thing. I complain about my parents.

I don't see this as an unreasonable punishment if she'd done something really wrong. Taking the laptop and shooting it is just about the same as taking it normally. Posting it online is a dick move, but it makes sense. I just don't get how what she did was wrong.